#why is Bill tweaking gang...

[mrbrightxside]

This took too long see you in a few weeks I'll go jump in the void now 👋 Also yes Bill gets exploded after ✅️

[all444glo]

ˏˋ⋆ 𝑴★𝒈𝒊𝒄 ⋆ˊˎ-

warnings: this is my first fic, heavily mature!, mentions of stripping, drug use, alcohol use yadda yadda yadda.

summary: It’s Jude’s 21st birthday and he couldn’t be any more happier, he’s on vacation in the black city of sin. His american friends wanted him to get a taste of what atlanta girls were like. as soon he walks in he’s in euphoria.

Jude was nervous, though he tried not to show it. American club culture was a mystery to him, and Atlanta’s scene? Completely uncharted territory. It wasn’t his usual crowd, no where near it, but it was his twenty-first birthday, and he felt like he owed himself a change of pace. The UK clubs he knew had grown stale, he needed something new. he figured why not disappear into a space where no one would notice him.

“Gang, I’m telling you, this is gonna blow your mind,” his friend said, grinning as they headed to his favorite spot. Jude laughed quietly, turning the name over in his head: ‘Magic City’ The words conjured an image of some surreal palace, complete with wizard-themed strippers and glowing wands.

But as the car turned onto the street and the neon lights spilled across his face, he realized he’d imagined entirely wrong. Magic, indeed—but not the kind he was prepared for.

They pulled up to a small, run-down spot—a real hole in the wall. The parking lot reeked of dark liquor, weed, tobacco, and shame. This was way out of Jude’s element. He’d seen some shady pubs back home, but this? This was a whole different ball game. “What is this, man?” Jude asked, laughing nervously as his eyes darted around, head on a swivel. His friend just grinned, leaning against the car like he’d seen this a hundred times. “Nigga This? This is a once-in-a-lifetime experience, that’s what it is.”

Before Jude could say anything, his friend slapped a fat wad of cash in his hand—bills crumpled and messy, ranging from ones to hundreds. “Now quit tweaking’ and come on,” his friend said with a wide grin. “Enjoy your 21st, nigga!”

Jude was having the absolute time of his life, he felt completely detached from his body. He was off of several rounds of shots and numerous puffs of weed, alcohol and weed hitting much differently in the US than at home. his hand was soon grabbed by a dancer, her skin glowing in the multi colored lights. “you’re beautiful” he mumbled, his eyes red and low. his friend was heard cackling in the distance, “have fun!” he shouted waving the two off.

Jude was on cloud nine, completely lost in the moment. He felt like he wasn’t even in his own body anymore. The shots kept coming, the weed too, and it hit different here in the US—stronger, sharper, like everything was amplified. His senses were spinning, the music vibrating through his bones. Then, a dancer reached out, her skin glowing under the kaleidoscope of lights. Without thinking, he mumbled, “You’re beautiful,” his voice slurring, eyes half-lidded and heavy.

His friend’s laughter echoed from a distance, barely audible over the chaos. “Have fun!” he called out, waving them off with a wild grin. the girl was beautiful, her gold bikini reflected and highlighted her brown complexion. she was completely intoxicating to say the least, making Jude feel like he was even farther out his body. “Thank you, honey,” she said with a soft country drawl. Jude couldn’t help but smile; there was something about it that made her even more captivating.

She took his hand and led him into a room. The lights were bathed in red, and a disco ball spun above, casting a kaleidoscope of colors across the walls, making everything feel surreal. Jude felt the pulse of the music deep in his chest, the atmosphere thick with heat and energy. The room seemed to spin with him, the lights blurring together as he followed her, captivated by her every move.

She moved with grace, like she knew exactly what she was doing to him, and it only made everything feel more intense. Jude could barely focus on anything else, lost in the rhythm of the moment, not sure where he ended and the dream began.

“Damn,” he mumbled, cupping her ass, his gaze fixed on her as if he was studying something he couldn’t quite believe was real. She was perfect in his eyes, and for a moment, he couldn’t believe he had her—at least for now.

Music filled the air, a steady rhythm setting the scene as she began her routine, grinding against him with a slow, teasing motion, drawing him in with every movement. Jude fought to keep his hands to himself, but couldn’t help slipping a few hundreds into the waistband of her thong, silently showing his appreciation for the moment.

“What’s your name, love?” he mumbled, trying to keep his composure, though it was harder with each passing second “Euphoria,” she whispered in his ear, her voice dripping with seduction. She traced the top of his ear with her tongue, sending a jolt of pleasure down his spine. “You like when I dance for you, baby?” she teased, settling onto his lap, her body pressing against him. Jude could barely think, his mind clouded as he nodded, his face flushed with heat. “You could be a model, fuck the strip club,” he muttered, his hands instinctively moving to her sides, groping at her waist. Her breathing slowed, and for a moment, time seemed to stand still as the intensity between them grew.

“Why do you even work here?” Jude asked, his hand lightly grazing her butt as she rested her head on his shoulder.

“Gotta get through school somehow,” she snickered, glancing up at him. “I know you don’t really care though.”

Jude immediately furrowed his brows, shaking his head. “Nah, that’s not me. You’re the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever met, I have to care.” Euphoria laughed softly, her eyes twinkling. “Wow, you English men really are charming, huh?” It was clear that Euphoria found him attractive too, the men who typically came through were the usual Atlanta crowd. She hated her job, but if she had to do it, at least she could enjoy a bit of variety. And Jude? He was all the variety she needed. Handsome, kind, and foreign—he stood out in a way no one else did.

She welcomed the nervousness in his voice, the way he seemed a little unsure. It felt like talking to a friend, like they could connect in a way she didn’t often experience, even in the midst of her nearly naked state. Everything felt natural with him, easy, like they’d known each other far longer than they had.

“you’re sweet” she said blushing and getting up “but your dance is up sweetheart”

“that felt way too short, i need to see you again— and in the daylight”

“baby none of your american friends told you about my kind? its bad luck to wife a stripper”

“you’re more than a stripper, you’re euphoria”

[monicaexol]

EXO Imagines

~ The love Shot ~

Warning: Mentions of guns and blood. Read with caution.

Minseok (Xiumin)

You began wiping down the tables, rubbing away alcohol, possible kiss stains and other strange substances that you didn’t even want to try and name. What you did was not your dream job, but working in this bar was paying the bills, no matter how disgusting it was.

The disco lights had dimmed, though the rhythmic beat of the music still lingered against your eardrums, like series of footsteps echoing in the area. And you could’ve sworn that your ears were playing tricks on you, that is until you lifted your tired gaze, only to find a line of black shoes enter the bar.

You trace your sight from his shoes, slowly up the rank of his body, and along the way your eyes met a briefcase clutched in his right hand. His hair was sleek, pressed back so his forehead showed. Frozen, your heartbeat thudded along with the beats of faded music.

Wordlessly, Minseok moves towards you. In a panicked state, you reached behind yourself, grabbing an empty beer bottle to point in his direction, “N-not another step closer or-” You mumble, blood gushing to your ears. His sharp eyes look into yours, cutting your words. The mafia boss let’s out a smirk and pushes the suitcase onto the table before turning on his heels to leave.

You stare with wide eyes, shaking hands and a potentially collapsed lung. He retrieves out along with his suited gang as if nothing happened. Now, with curiosity and fear swimming in your veins, you decide to force open the suitcase. Stacked notes were piled one of top of the other, this much money could last you the next twenty years!

But on top of those notes, lay a rose with a small, folded piece of paper underneath. With a small tremble, you open it, “It’s true that I spill red blood for a living. But for you, I can stop. And I’ll take my proposal as a yes, if you accept my red rose instead.”

Junmyeon (Suho)

When you had signed up for a job as a translator, being trapped in this sort of situation was not what you expected. He swivels on his seat, dark eyes glinting with reflections of knives. Junmyeon picks one up, pointing the blade towards a stiff looking man who sat on the opposite side of the long table.

“I’m ready to merge cooperations with him, only if I hold overall control of business activities.” Your tight lips break apart for the first time tonight, and you croak out the words, translating for your boss who sat staring at his soon to be parter. A strange silence emits in the room, and you prayed that no one could hear the thudding beats of your hearts.

No, this was definitely not what you expected. But how on earth could you leave when every corner of the building was guarded by furious looking gunned men? The man shakes his head, “I’ve been brought here against my will. Ask why a mafia boss like him wants to buy a jewellery company?” You stared at the man, confusion suddenly tweaking the cognitives of your mind.

Why did your boss want to buy a jewellery company? You steal a glance from the corner of your eye, being sat next to him was not making it any easier for your nerves to control themselves. “Sir, h-he wants to know why you’re interested in owning a jewellery company?” Junmyeon cranes his neck, eyes finally looking into yours.

Somewhere in that moment, you felt as if you were taking your final breath. Raising his hand, he holds the knife against your throat, “I want to buy jewellery that shines brighter than any knife under my light.” Goosebumps rise on your skin, gushing blood kicks in and your adrenaline screams for your body to react.

But all that came to a sudden standstill when he placed the knife on the table, “I’m buying this company for you,” he holds his breath for a second, “It has the finest jewellery, including the most beautiful ring I’ve ever seen. I don’t want any other woman to wear it, only you deserve to.”

Yixing (Lay)

You shuffle on your seat, dim lighting deafening the words on your page. The library has never been this empty before, but somehow you didn’t feel alone when you were engulfed by stories with brave characters. You flip the page and begin reading, when suddenly, someone pulls the chair in front of yours out from under the table.

You jump in surprise, losing your concentration. Glancing up, you find a familiar pair of guilty eyes casting down. He smiles apologetically, lifting his hand in defence. And you let out the breath you didn’t intend to hold. He sits and begins reading. But even in the midst of all these words, you couldn’t help but want to read his eyes.

It’s as if they were stealing glances of you, peeking at the words on your page, or maybe into your eyes. He always did this, but he never said much. So before you could question him, he breaks the awkward silence himself. “Listen, it’s not as empty in here as you think.” He was still looking down at his book, his words just a breath louder than a whisper.

“If you want to survive, run with me.” With an arched brow, you let a scoff. “Is this some kind of joke? Because-“ His eyes widen, “Y/N!” How does he know your name? A bullet shoots between you both, knocking a painting on the wall to the ground and leaving a fine hole in the wall. You gulp, wide eyed, hands suddenly shaking out of control.

Before you could register anything, you felt your hand being grabbed. He was panting, and you were in far worse condition by the time you made it down to the second floor of the library. Footsteps followed, glass shattered and bullets left holes in every inanimate object. God forbid it hit you.

“Who-who are they? And what the fuck do they want?” You ask, groaning with pain in your chest. The lack of oxygen from running was close to knocking you out, but he squeezes your hand reassuringly. “They want you.” Confusion hits you harder than a bullet, “But why?” He stops, licking his lips before whispering, “Because I love you.”

Baekhyun

“Not him again.” You mumble under your breath, straightening up the bed before opening the door to let him in. He walks slow, pace a little out of control while limps on his left leg. But he too, is mumbling quietly, probably whining about how much his bruises hurt.

You never really spoke much, never questioned why he was hurt, or who did it. You were a nurse, those questions had been dealt with by the police, so it was none of your concern. Though those thoughts were thrown out of your mind when you pulled back his shirt, revealing the huge gash across his back, “W-what happened?” You ask, holding back a gasp.

When you glanced at his face, his tired features somehow spiralled into a soft smile. “You finally asked...” He whispers, taking note of the furrow of your brows. The cut was deep, cotton pads wouldn’t do, he needs a cleanse and dressing, maybe even stitches. So when you pressed the cleansing alcohol against his back, he hissed.

“Do you know what I do, Nurse Y/N?” You stood behind him, and from the mirror, he watches your eyes glint from the artificial lights that hung from the low ceiling. “No, I do not.” Baekhyun sucks in a breath, his back bends and you stop your ministrations, only for him to turn around, the bruise around his eye more obvious under the shadows.

“Would you hate me, if I told you?” Baekhyun pulls his bottom lip into the cave of his mouth, and your eyes follow the nervous habit. Slowly, you shake your head. “The mafia.” Your eyes widen, rubbing alcohol spilling to the ground. You assumed he had a knack for getting himself into bar fights, not this. “More specifically, I run the mafia.”

Every nerve in your body shook with sudden fear, and though you weren’t the battered and bruisen one in the room, it sure felt like it. “If anyone finds out, they’ll kill me.” He whispers, eyes piercing your own in the softest way. “But if I have to die by anyone’s hands,” Baekhyun reaches to hold your hand, “I’d rather they be the ones that took care of me once upon a time.”

Jongdae (Chen)

An ancient vase spins, shatters and spills to the ground. You stare, breath stuck in your throat, lungs suddenly fighting for oxygen. Wordlessly, the man next to you grabs your hand and runs as if his life depended on it. Your mind was spinning with too many questions, asking him who he was was one of them but it all became lost in the chaos of the situation.

All you wanted was a calm tour of the new city, never had you guessed that something like this could occur. And out of all the places, why were people shooting bullets in a fucking museum? You turn a corner, hands and feet buzzing with adrenaline.

When you finally came to a standstill, he presses you against a wall that was hidden behind enormous statues. You had gathered enough breath to break out a steady sentence, “A-are you the police? And who are these people? And what do-“ Jongdae presses his hand against your mouth, his other hand coming up to press a finger against his lips.

Footsteps increase with volume at each step, a storm of them following each other. It would only took a few more steps until they entered the same space as you. You screw your eyes shut, holding your breath in hopes that they would just leave you alone. Jongdae peers down, guilt mixing in his gaze.

Somehow, in the midst of this situation, your arms wrapped themselves around his torso where he stood in front of you like a shield. You wondered who this man really was, if he was the police, why wasn’t he in uniform? And out of all these people, why is he protecting you?When the footsteps faded, you finally opened your eyes, blurry sight meeting his soft gaze.

“You okay?” You nod, he steps back, tucking his gun into his coat. “I’m not the police. Those people chasing us were.” Us? Suddenly, your mind spins again, “W-what do you mean?” He looks away, “I’m wanted, as most high profile criminals are. I wasn’t here to steal anything, unless, your heart is up for sale?”

Chanyeol

He pulls his hood up, and sits on a high bar stool, waiting to be served. And had he not lifted his hand to usher a waiter, you would’ve assumed he was just another dark shadow. Chanyeol waves his hand, once again, hoping you would come around to serve him a drink.

But six shots later, he realised that perhaps he needed to find a different way to catch your attention. You were on duty, set to serve a specific group of men. They called you eye candy, drunken murmurs were passed about your body and you held it all in. It would be obvious to say you hated your job, but it provided you with your bread and butter, nothing could be done.

A hand, seemingly out of no where, presses itself against your back. “Be a good girl and bend over for me.” A rusty voice groans, his alcohol induced breath slimming the back of your neck while he leans closer, other hand digging into your waist. You let out a small yelp, as if static electricity burned your skin.

Vodka shots spill to the ground, small glasses cracking into even smaller fragments of glass. Not even a minute later, that same hand pulls at your hair, gripping like a vice. “Stupid bitch, who’s gonna pay for that now?” The heat was building, tears lined your blurry vision and you tried shaking out of his grip.

A crash, the sound of a gun being loaded, and two punctuating bullets caused the whole bar to fall into a depth of silence. The hand gripping your hair loosens, and something thuds to the ground. You rub the ball of your palms into your eyes, your clear vision coming into focus of a man lying still on the floor. Red painted the floor around him, and you mind suddenly felt weighted with fear.

Chanyeol’s hood falls as he shoves his gun back into his pocket, eyes raging with a fury no one had ever seen before. People around him gasped, as if they recognised him, who is he? But taking one glance at your shivering body, his anger melted. He steps towards you, holding out his hand softly, “I promise, as long as I’m here with you, no one will ever touch you again.”

Kyungsoo (D.O)

Kyungsoo closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. Then, he runs his hands through this gelled hair, and takes off his blazer. “Should I leave the tie on? No, it’s too expensive, she’ll notice.” He glances into his rear view mirror while mumbling to himself, where his driver sat equally confused, blinking back as if his boss had gone crazy.

Kyungsoo gives him a droopy smile, he didn’t want you to know who he really was, how could he explain his reality to you? But realisation strikes and an idea flashes like a light bulb over his head. The driver gulps, and Kyungsoo nods apologetically. Kyungsoo steps out of his car, adjusting to his drivers suit. “I should really give them better uniforms.”

The car drives off, and Kyungsoo walks into the cafe where he begins his act of being a normal accountant. You stood behind the till, taking people’s payments and waving them off with a smile that felt sweeter than any hot chocolate he’d tasted. You notice him, and send a short smile, causing the apples of Kyungsoo’s cheeks to rise.

‘How should I ask her out?’ He thinks to himself, taking slow steps towards you. But as he came nearer, he began noticing the scratches on your arm, the fading bruise near your eye. Concern fogged his thoughts, and just as he was about to ask you, you step back with wide eyes. Someone storms into the cafe, pushing past Kyungsoo.

“Y/N? Why the fuck would you report me to the police? I’m your boyfriend for crying out loud! Couples fight like this all the time.” Kyungsoo’s breathing halts, your boyfriend did this to you? Rage floods his mind, he holds it in for just a second, but seeing your eyes filled with such fear hurts him. Kyungsoo taps your boyfriends shoulder, who turns around yelling “The fuck do you want?”

But after Kyungsoo presses a gun against his forehead, he freezes on the spot. “Go near her again, and I’ll shoot ten bullets into your head.” Quicker than lighting, he runs, leaving the cafe in a stunned silence. Kyungsoo glances towards you, your face morphed in shock and horror, “I can treat you better.” He whispers.

Jongin (Kai)

“I can’t believe you did this, Y/N. This is amazing, I’m shocked!” You boss gives you a heavy pat on the back, and you straighten your posture with pride, a smug smile pulling at your lips. “I’m only completing my duties, Officer.” You speak, keeping your voice at a steady volume, though the tiny voice in your head was squealing with absolute excitement.

Your boss turns on his heels, and you give him a salute just as he exits the jail. You did it! You finally caught your fist criminal! Excitement overtook your emotions, you couldn’t help yourself, and before you even knew it, you were standing on desk, dancing thoughtlessly with a stupid smile on your face.

“You know, you should really learn how to lock a jail better.” A voice stops your party, you cast your eyes down, your first catch of the year stood free with keys dangling from his hands, “and some dancing lessons too. Please.” With your own voice now stuck in your throat, you try speaking a coherent sentence, but your mind is in a frenzy. How the fuck did he get out?

“Kai.” You mumble, reaching for the drawer in your desk to pull out your gun. “Call me Jongin, darling.” You roll your eyes as an automatic reaction to the unasked for name, and a teasing smile caused the apples of his cheeks to rise. You pull the drawer open, only to find it empty. “Looking for this?”

Jongin waves the gun teasingly before your eyes, a small giggle falling from his mouth. You stare wide eyed, fear struck but even a little impressed. “How did you-“ He walks closer, causing your spine to flatten itself against the wall behind you to create as much distance as possible. The only barrier between you and your criminal was your desk, but that didn’t stop him.

He sits on the table, legs dangling over the edge so that he was face to face with you. “Did you really think you could catch someone like me? Do you even know who I am?” Smuggler, drug dealer, mafia member, yes you knew. “But shouldn’t you be the one in jail? You did steal, after all.” You blink, what is he talking about? Reading your confusion, Jongin smiles, “You stole my heart.”

Sehun

Rain patters heavily outside. The bell rings, you stop flickering through your bookings for the next day and glance up to catch the figure that slid through your glass doors. He was tall, you noticed, his stark black attire a dark contrast to the bright flowers of your store. “Welcome to Seoul Scents, how may I help you?”

His stern eyes moved from the roses to meet your own, softening after a couple of blinks. And you realised that you had seen this man before, a number of times in fact. His hand ticks into his pocket, pulling out the gun he kept in there. You follow the movement with your eyes, your body frozen, was he really going to rob a flower store?

Making no comment, Sehun walks towards you, “I’d like to purchase some roses.” He states, more softly than you had anticipated. Purchase? Your response is lost in the air, eyes blinking rapidly to force the tears away. This had been the first time you heard his voice, and the curtness sent a slight shiver down your spine.

“O-of course, do you have any specific kind in m-mind?” Sehun shakes his head, raindrops tricking from his black locks, “Whatever is most beautiful.” You nod, trying to act calm. Your phone was in the other room, you’d have to pretend to be normal if you wanted to survive. “Is there a special occasion?” Sehun scans your face, your eyebags seemed darker than the last time he saw you.

“Not really, I just want to let her know she’s working really hard and deserves some rest.” For a moment you wondered how someone with such a cold exterior could have such warm thoughts. After noticing a bouquet of white iceberg roses, he points to it and says “I’ll take them,” You nod quickly, “all of them.”

Your nodding slows in disbelief, “R-really?” With a smile, he tucks the gun away, having enough of your funny stunned reaction to it, “Of course. And make sure you deliver them to Y/N’s house.” He drops a bundle of notes onto the table. Before you could even stutter another word, he turns on his heels and you watched as he faded into the stream of rain humming outside.

A/N: Sorry I wrote this after Valentine’s Day! But I hope you liked reading it, thank you for requesting, angel. Have a lovely day my honey bunnies! ❤️

[somethinwickedthiswayrides]

I’ve got another for ya, what if reader has super powers, is able to fly. But they’re kinda lazy so all they really do with it is use it to avoid walking, so they’re always kinda floating around or laying down mid-air and despite the begging from other gang members to use it for making money they just kinda whine and moan cuz it’s too much work

I think I may still be a bit tapped out from the giant word dump that was the 100 follower special. I had to tweak it a bit, but here’s what I came up with.

It somehow turned into a Charles X Reader fluff.

At first, everyone is super frustrated with you.

You don't want to go out and use your special power to make money, instead preferring to float around camp, help the women, guard duty, weapon detailing, the like.

No one understands why.

Hosea is the one who confronts you about it, rather harshly too.

He stops when he notices that you had basically curled up into a floating ball.

He asks why, and you tell him, making the older man laugh.

Turns out you just really didn't want to go out alone.

Hosea tells you to just ask someone to go with you.

You didn't think it would work, and, well,

You were right.

You had learned about this house a couple days ago that you thought would be easy pickings.

You had asked if Bill or John wanted to go with you.

But they just laughed at you saying that you just wanted them to do all the work.

It hurt.

You handed the information over to Arthur, who thanked you and you floated away.

For the next couple of days, all you did was clean the weapons and sew.

Literally, everyone in camp knew that you had gone into a funk, but weren't sure how to approach the matter to find out why.

Charles was the first to approach, with some gentle coaxing he managed to get you to tell him why you were so down.

When you did he frowned and said he'd be right back.

He'd gone to his tent and picked up his bow along with a few arrows, and holstered his sidearm.

He told Hosea in about what happened and that he was taking you out of camp for a bit.

When he got back to you he said he was going to take you out of the camp to go hunting.

"But I don't know how to hunt."

"That's alright, I can show you."

You smiled and you two were heading out to hunt.

Charles shows you how to grip the bow, how to nock the arrow, draw the string, and release.

After a few tries, you think you got the hang of it enough to try hunting a deer.

Thanks to your floating you could get up high enough that the deer won't smell you, and since you weren't on the ground they couldn't hear you coming.

Giving you ample time to line up your shot right to the back of the head.

Once you brought the beast down you gave a huge grin and looked back at Charles.

Who gave you a thumbs-up.

After loading the deer onto the back of Taima, and snagging a couple rabbits, you two made your way back to camp.

"Hey, Charles? Thanks."

"Anytime."

[oosteven-universe]

Archie & Friends: Geeks & Games #1

Archie & Friends: Geeks and Games #1 Archie Comics 2020 Written by Francis Bonnet & Angelo Decesare Pencilled by Pat & Tim Kennedy, Bill Golliher & Jeff Shultz Inked by Jim Amash & Bob Smith Coloured by Glenn Whitmore Lettered by Jack Morelli    Get ready for some hi-tech hijinks in this issue of Archie & Friends! Get hooked on the latest video game craze Forknite, meet Archie’s new, unusual pet, try to find something that was gone in a flash and hunt down some hamburgers with your very own phone in these tech-savvy stories!    This is why the Classic Archie stories rock!  It has been raining for days here and the weather went end of Fall cold and this morning I woke up and this is the first thing I read.  Now it can stay overcast outside,I don’t care because I am smiling and giggly and that’s just what the power of the Archie gang has on pretty much anyone and everyone.  There are four stories in this issue and they all centre around technology in some way shape or form.  While I would have loved a throwback to say the days Atari took the world by storm or perhaps an arcade visit but that’s just a fanboy and his caviar dreams and champagne wishes.      This book is amazing and how the stories are arranged to create the books ebb & flow through them all is really rather quite impressive to see.  Editorial did a phenomenal job in putting the order together, which is whom I am assuming did this.  By opening with one of the more recent obsessions in the gaming world, Forknite (Fortnite) and ending with another story that is completely now the book manages to encapsulate everything about modern life superbly.  I found myself smiling despite myself this morning, which is hard to do before I’ve had a cup of coffee, and I see in many folks I know the kind of behaviour we see in all the vignettes here.      This line, i want to call it a series but each one is a first issue which makes me wonder if they’ll ever be a second issue, is one I wish were a series but the one of’s are indeed a much welcome addition to my reading list.  This is the epitome of all-ages storytelling.  Adults love it, kids love it and yes even your teenager will love it!  The one company that without fail, which makes for the most amazing device free meals, where everyone can be involved in the same conversation.      The interiors here are always sensational.  The fashions over the years change and there are tweaks here and there to the way they look but honestly these are the most recognisable characters the world over.  So my hat is off to those who create fashion for Veronica, she’s got the most department store wardrobe we’ve ever seen, and to keeping Jughead's hat so familiar and lest we forget for everyone's favourite ginger who never changes.  The linework is amazing and so consistent regardless of who drew which story and thanks to the sensational talents of Glenn the colour work really makes the entire issue feel as cohesive as it does.  The man, the myth and the legend, Glenn really is the colourist to the stars here and I think that his work is what solidifies the different artists that we see.    Also cannot forget Jack who’s lettering is always consistent and probably the least known of the creative teams which is a shame.  From the font to the letters thickness, or boldness, to the various signs and marquee’s we see his work is really stand out stuff. ​    Rainy day blues got ya down?  Still stuck in quarantine and waiting to see what happens next?  Grab yourself a copy of this, hunker down and have a great day, that’s all it’s gonna take.

[psyga315]

"What if Volume 7 was about Post-9/11?”

This is another V7 rewrite of mine, but rather than just tweak scenes, these are gonna be full on alterations, with the overall aim being to make it more clear cut at Ironwood’s dictatorship, but also showing a half-full view of his actions.

See, until we get a commentary on what the intent was for Ironwood, we’re of two camps: One, RT always intended Ironwood to be a dictator who lost his grasp on reality or two, they meant for it to be one of those “you guess who’s in the right” but people instead memed the “RWBY’S ALWAYS RIGHT/WRONG” angle too much.

However, a Twitter post by Ruby Rose talking about how people despised RWBY for being too political has got me thinking: “The problem isn’t that RWBY is too political… The problem is that RWBY isn’t political enough”.

Okay, let’s take a look at this: Ironwood has a whole 1984 angle going with TV Screens showing his face everywhere, androids recording people, and the ability to declare martial law when he feels like it. The problem is that we don’t really get to see enough of that angle. It’s a set piece to show how bad Mantle is and nothing more.

While that would have been okay back in the day to convey how dystopian and how much a dictatorship is for Atlas, the problem is that with the ease of access to information, we actually see just how much more they could have went. Even rumors how bad certain dictatorships are manage to be much more threatening than “cameras, cameras everywhere”.

And this is supposed to be the reason why Ironwood isn’t to be trusted with Salem’s immortality truth bomb. At first glance, I see where people are coming from, but looking closer, it just feels wonky. “You want to keep an eye on people in case things go horribly wrong and want to unite the world against Salem? Too bad, you’re not getting any info outta me” and it makes Ruby come off as an entitled brat than a paragon.

And so, I propose this solution:

What if Ironwood wasn’t aiming to unite the world against Salem? What if he really was freaking paranoid at the sky falling? What if, instead of re-enacting 2016 like some people have joked, we dial the clock back fifteen years and instead re-enact 2001. Some of you may see where I’m going with this, but for those who don’t, I feel like these two words will manage to convey the intent I have for Ironwood’s character:

Patriot Act.

For those who don’t know or need a refresher, back in 2001, there was a terrorist attack involving the destruction of the Twin Towers that killed almost three thousand people which placed the USA in an ongoing state of national emergency that still goes on to this day. Sound familiar?

The Fall of Beacon has a few comparisons to 9/11, namely how it was charged by terrorists of, at the time, undeterminable origins (which translates to RWBY as multiple fronts attacking Beacon at once), was responsible for a lot of deaths and destruction of at least one tower, and punted the world (namely the heavily militaristic one) in a state of panic. You could even interpret the Atlasian Soldiers being hacked as a nod to the accusations that the USA planned 9/11, but that’s a bit of a stretch.

During the fallout, the USA, in response to this and an ongoing anthrax attack at the time, decided to, almost as quickly as 9/11 happened with a month and some change in between dates, passed a very lengthy Patriot Act, which, to put it to the simplest of terms, allowed the government to have due process in searching through people’s information with the intent to put a stop to terror attacks before they even begin. However, this is how it’s used in practice. In execution, its uncertain wording and possible violation of the base Amendments caused the bill to garner skepticism or outright criticism.

And what do we see in Volume 7? Ironwood quickly passes a system that enables him to keep a closer eye on the people of Mantle and tighten imports and exports, as well as people going in and out of Atlas, not unlike how the Patriot Act was potentially harsher towards immigrants. So, we have this source of information to draw from now, make parallels and basically show this controversial subject through the lens of your Saturday morning cartoon that put on the big boy pants a couple of years ago.

So, with that in mind, let’s go back to Volume 7, Episode 1, and change up what exactly we see that would make RWBY and co go “this is horrible!”

By the point where RWBY and co get to Atlas, the border patrol shouldn’t be the first sign of danger. Weiss was there when she overheard Ironwood’s plans for increased security and they had to steal an aircraft because of said tight security. Nor would they react to Ironwood’s “Go Home. Stay Home.” speech.

What they would react to are the Paladins forcing people back to their homes, with one threatening to open fire when one of them tries to resist. Cries of “this isn’t right” are uttered when they see a human instantly attack a Faunus right after they see them and accusing them of being part of the White Fang. The moment a cop gets involved in abusing the Faunus, that’s when Blake blurts out that the city is awful, much to Nora’s chagrin.

Weiss throws the cop into the trash bin as we hear a sickening crunch (as he has no aura) as Weiss just looks in remorse. Already we get a good idea that this place is pretty fucked up without looking at a screen of someone saying “we are here for your safety” and going “this is awful!” and it evokes feelings of the racially-charged attacks that followed 9/11.

The rest of the show follows like normal, but the moment everything changes is Episode 2 when Ironwood tells them all why he’s called everyone back. It’s clear that the video has Ironwood at his strongest. As his beard is patchy and his hair greasy now comes the “you look tired” comments. Ironwood has no plans to stop Salem. The reason for his embargo and calling back his troops is to stockpile Dust and men and prepare for the inevitable war, not knowing that Vale and Mistral are hardly equipped to take on Atlas and Vacuo is… Vacuo.

He’s also paranoid that Salem will strike next. Without any reports from the other Kingdoms, he’s effectively put his head in the sand. He’s not even thinking of counterattacking, just staying and believing the best offense is a good defense… Or so RWBY assumes… Ironwood reveals soon that, as he dwelled upon the failings of Beacon, he came to the conclusion that Salem couldn’t be beaten. The most that Ozpin did was put her at a stalemate and even then, all it took is one bad night to change the tide. He is scared.

He finds a small semblance of hope in seeing Oscar and the Lamp, but he assumes that the questions are used up or if there were, the team used it to ask if Salem could be beaten. Ruby neither confirms nor denies it. With his mind clearly submitted to despair, he tells RWBY that the Winter Maiden is spending her twilight years in isolation to protect her from the villains after what happened to Amber. Weiss asks if this is a little much, only for Ironwood to snap and remind her how Cinder was able to destroy Beacon and kill Pyrrha thanks to Ozpin’s poor handling of Amber. The comment stings Jaune, since he partially blames himself for what happened. He then asks RWBY to wait until the Winter Maiden passes on so that the fresher Maiden can handle the Vault and chuck the Lamp in.

That’s when Ruby brings up the Relic’s Grimm-attracting properties. The sooner it’s in a Vault, the better. This does not bode well for Ironwood and he tries his best to compose himself with this bombshell, then permits Ruby and the others to keep the lamp, as they’ve managed to handle it on their own. RWBY then come across the Ace-Ops, who apologize for their antagonism. Weiss raises an eyebrow as she has never heard of the Ace Operatives before and Marrow jabs on about how they’re a secret police force before Harriet shuts him up with an elbow to the rib. Note that he doesn’t call themselves “the best of the best”. If anything, the name is to harbour goodwill, since anything alluding to a shadow police would just send fear and panic.

Of course, the implications of there being an Atlasian secret police flies over Ruby’s optimistic head, but the others start to feel a little suspicious with them. Clover, realizing this, tries to ease tensions by offering the rest of his team to train RWBY and JNPR. Instantly, Ruby accepts, seeing as they scraped by their victories by the skin of their teeth, glancing over to Yang’s broken arm. Clover takes note and says he’ll commission Pietro to construct upgrades for their equipment.

Episode 3 is a simple, light-hearted episode that lets us breathe from all the crazy stuff that went on. It’s also a bit more serious, though, as the gang confront Ruby on omitting the information they learned to Ironwood. Unlike my previous tweaking of Volume 7, this time everyone, Ruby included, feel like they should at least tell Ironwood something, especially after Weiss compares his attitude to when they were affected by the Apathy.

However, they have no good news to share. Even the news of having the Relic of Knowledge comes with the weight of having to tell him how they got the Relic, with Yang feeling just as guilty for omitting Raven’s Spring Maiden powers. Seeing something is off, Clover decides to have the team test their mettle against the Ace-Ops in good fun. When asking if he’s to join in, Clover decides to stay by the sidelines. JNR choose to stay out too. Qrow asks Clover, if he’s the Ace-Ops leader, why doesn’t he join and that’s where we have him casually reveal his Semblance, which causes Qrow to admit that he has the opposite kind of Semblance. Clover chuckles and ponders if being next to each other would cancel the Semblances out.

To make a long story short, the Ace-Ops defeat RWBY, even with their upgraded weapons, but it’s clear they only did it through brute strength and not through teamwork. Regardless, Ironwood is brought out of his shell and sees the battle unfold. He has the common decency to tell RWBY that they shouldn’t spend what may be months cooped up in a house (both a jab at V5 and a poorly timed joke for 2020), he graduates them on the spot so that they can do missions. Ruby takes this time to tell Ironwood that they can beat Salem, though doesn’t she clarify if this was something she learned from the Relic. It leads to Ironwood assuming that she had and is elated. The episode ends with Robyn and her Happy Huntresses having saved a Faunus from getting lynched before they notice Ironwood making an announcement, his beard and hair now trimmed and combed.

Episode 4 begins with Ironwood telling Mantle (and Atlas) about Beacon being attacked by a faceless coward and declares that Remnant will be defended. He doesn’t announce any plans, but the first thing he immediately does is lower the amount of guards in Mantle, something that gives them room to breathe. The episode introduces us to Robyn’s team and gives them some sort of depth in contrast to “is just a background character who sometimes will have a tweet telling us info like J.K. Rowling doing a Harry Potter info dump”.

Only one of them gets flashback, though. Fiona sees some kids being escorted by Jaune Arc and remembers back when she was a teacher, reading a book to the kids before they were told of the Battle of Beacon and its subsequent fall, sending the kids into fear and panic and summoning the Grimm. We don’t see the end result, but Fiona’s thousand-yard stare and hyperventilating are a clear indicator that it did not end well.

May comes across Henry, who was taking advantage of Mantle’s lower economy to buy groceries on the cheap, and we get confirmation that not only are they cousins but that May had a transition as Henry fails to recognize her. True to form, as soon as he finds out, he has a bit of a freak out before he’s decked by May.

Joanna is the first to encounter Ruby and Weiss, who are out on a routine mission to help stabilize the barrier with earth Dust (remember that’s a thing?), though questions Weiss’s presence. It’s here we get some infodump on what Jacques was up to during her escape. Willow had leaked a recorded video of Jacques hitting Weiss, which earned him some much needed bad press and sinking the SDC stock down to where other Dust Companies are vying to buy it out. It sets up a small character arc for Weiss that’s hopefully more fleshed out than V7’s: should she rescue her father and save the SDC or leave it to crumble and forge her own name? Eventually, she’ll decide on a middle path, preserving the SDC with the help of Ironwood, but making Whitley the one who takes it over, realizing that she can’t worry about the SDC when the world’s at stake.

But more on that later. As for Joanna herself, she speaks with an odd whistle lisp and a smile reveals that her two front teeth had been broken. When Ruby asked what happened to her, she shrugs and says that “I got a dose of reality from a former friend.”. A later scene of her helping out the Faunus gives a bit of an implication that she was one of the kids that Ilia was friends with, namely the one who got the broken teeth.

The biggest character depth moment comes when Robyn sets up a rally, only for hecklers to come and joke at her insistence for Mantle to be its own Kingdom without Atlas watching over them, having had enough with Atlas’s jackboot. One of the hecklers gives a reason that shows a darker side to Atlas: When Mantle lost the war, a chunk of the continent decided to levitate itself away to disassociate with the nation and that chunk became Atlas. It became unanimous that Atlas would rule over Mantle as punishment for causing the war.

Robyn’s desires to make Mantle its own nation once more invites a lot of skepticism and accusations that she’s a Neo-Mantlean, wanting to take away all forms of expression and burn art. Robyn wants none of it and asks Joanna to boot the heckler out, which only solidified his views. Nora sticks around to listen to more, as does Forrest. A small scene also happens where Clover and Qrow experiment with their Semblances before Clover realizes Qrow can’t control his. He then tries to work with Qrow and train him to be able to control it, something that isn’t going to be fully realized until the endgame. We then end the episode on Forrest being killed in the dead of the night, but we don’t see who kills him, just a hint that it may be Tyrian.

Episode 5 is a Weiss-heavy episode. After training with the Ace-Ops, Weiss is called by Winter for a special one-on-one. In reality, she wanted to tell Weiss that Jacques has fallen ill since she left and Willow has had one too many blackouts from her drinking. The Schnee family is falling apart and she gives her the ultimatum of either staying in Atlas to properly take over the SDC, bringing up that she and Ironwood can prove Weiss is sane enough to keep her title of heiress, or stay with RWBY and let the SDC be taken over by a third party that will ultimately be revealed to be Robyn and her Happy Huntresses (i.e. stealing from the rich to give to the poor).

Weiss asks why she doesn’t take it over, to which she reveals that she’ll be the Winter Maiden. Weiss is a little uneasy, remembering what Jaune had told her about Pyrrha (he’d probably either tell her off screen like everything else or bring it up when arguing with Ironwood about keeping the Maiden under lock and key) and asks if she’s okay with it. Winter give her a deadpan look and tells her “if I wasn’t, my name wouldn’t be Winter, now would it?” revealing that this was a name she picked herself and one that had been used for so long, that Weiss has no memory of what Winter’s real first name really was…

But I’m just gonna roll out the charming plot twist and say it’s Whitney. She joined Ironwood before Willow gave birth to Whitley and so he got her name, albeit masculinized.

We cut to Jaune and his team as they go on a mission to help the Ace-Ops clear out a cave. Blake and Yang join too, if only to showcase their new weapons in more detail, with Blake’s weapon upgrade actually having something to benefit it beyond just gorilla glue. Namely, the golden strip is actually a dust crystal and can be used for electrical attacks as a tribute to Ilia. We could even have a small flashback that has Blake specifically request this. It’s kinda ironic, as they’re in the mines where Ilia’s parents died in.

This is the third episode of RWBY basically, though it ends with two scenes. Qrow and Clover talk about the recent killing of Forrest and how Qrow brings up that this was the third person who spoke against Ironwood that had died in a row, having done research on the news when he arrived. They both believe that someone is setting Ironwood up, but Qrow mentions that what’s unnerving him more is his removal of troops. The last time something like this happened, he moved them all to Vale and caused fear for people. Clover says nothing, but reassures Qrow that Ironwood is making a big play.

We end the episode on the air patrol, now with notably fewer ships. One flies towards them. We see people at air control seeing a blip on their radar and just as they’re about to call it out, it disappears. They pass it off as a glitch as we cut to the plane in question…

It’s Watts and Tyrian, the former of which chuckles and notes that, while Ironwood has made an effort to change the code, it just took a bit more brute force on his part to crack and that, with a few more crackings of the code, it’d be easy for him to hack back in. They then notice a second plane flying in. It doesn’t take long for Tyrian to notice that the plane feels “off”, as though this plane isn’t “normal”. Watts just shrugs and hacks the system to let the plane in. As the second plane flies in, we get a zoom in through the windshield and see Neo and Cinder, smug as hell in thinking their disguise was foolproof.

Episode 6 focuses on Ruby and Penny. I’m not going to go into too much detail, but it’s basically the much neglected “hey, Penny, you died. I cried. I missed you.” Bit. Ironwood has recovered much better and he’s looking like he did on the videos now. He even gives the crew a night off, to which Yang and Blake get an invite from FNKI.

Things start to take a turn for the worst when Ren, of all people, asks Ruby how they’re going to beat Salem. Ruby confesses to Ren that she just told Ironwood that to give him some hope. Ren just gives Ruby a cold warning that the man had lost everything, even the will to keep fighting. Giving him hope, only to take it away would only destroy him. Nora can’t help but agree, comparing his situation to how they were given hope of beating Salem only to be told that she’s immortal.

RNR are enroute to a rally: the anniversary of the Fall of Beacon, just to fuck with the fans keeping timelines. I’d play it safe though and say it’s a two-year anniversary. It doesn’t matter, it’s basically to commemorate the fall of Beacon and honor those who have fallen. However, the rally is run by Robyn of all people and Robyn has quite a few things to say about Atlas’s handling of the situation, things that the public would rather not want to hear. Things like how they plotted to attack Beacon once Penny won the tournament but had to accelerate their plans once Pyrrha killed Penny, or how they created the White Fang for the explicit purpose of having a scapegoat.

Obviously, all of these are pure bullshit to which Ruby calls out. The one thing she can confirm is true is the hacking of the robots. While the crowd cheered at Ruby calling Robyn out, they go quiet when she talks about the robots. She makes it clear that it was a third-party that hacked the robots, but it didn’t stop the crowd from trying to get her off the stage. Robyn takes her to the backstage and asks her to shake her hand and tell her exactly what happened at Beacon. Ruby painfully recalls the Fall before shedding tears, though her words ring true for Robyn’s Semblance, prompting to ask about whether Atlas planned on attacking Beacon and being truthfully told no. Robyn has a moment of clarity, but that is halted by screams from the rally.

Meanwhile, Ren and Nora bicker about what to do regarding Ironwood. Nora wants nothing to do with him while Ren just wants to help him the best they can. This eventually goes into the conclusion that Ren has been emotionally distancing himself since they found out about Salem’s immortality and Nora tries to kiss him, only for the lights to go out and the massacre to begin. People try to take out their phones but are quickly taken down. Penny rushes in to try and fight, but she gets out maneuvered, and Marrow also tries, but the assailant purposefully avoids him. By the time Robyn and Ruby get involved, the massacre is over and the lights turn back on as its revealed to be Tyrian, claiming the responsibility for the killings under the White Fang’s name. Before Robyn can attack, Tyrian scurries away and announces to the surviving public that war is coming. Panic maximum is hit as Grimm attack.

Episode 7 is kinda like the Episode 7 of my other rewrite, Grimm attack interrupts FNKI and there’s a large angry mob, but this time, it’s more akin to pandemonium. Not only does the Huntsmen have to fight the onslaught of Grimm, but stop the crazed civilians from lynching the first Faunus they see: Blake and Neon. This leads to a bit where one of them tries to brand Blake with an SDC branding stick and Yang snaps, kicking his ass and, thanks to his lack of aura, crippling or outright killing him. People suddenly remember who Yang is (remember, the whole world saw her injure Mercury) and so they team up on her, beating her up and stealing her metallic arm.

Similar outbursts happen with the other Huntsmen, showing them the worst of humanity encapsulated in a single night and reacting negatively to it. The only person who is above it all is Weiss, who learned her lesson after she snapped at that Trophy Wife, and, as a nod to that, she summons a Boarbatusk when she sees someone making off with Yang’s arm and has the Boarbatusk not gore the person, but take the arm from them and bring it back to Weiss.

I don’t want to make it as dark as the other rewrite’s V7E7 where Penny gets torn apart limb from limb, but I do want to at the very least show just how desperate humanity is when the chips are down, so perhaps crippling Neon with a gunshot to the leg. Just as things are about to get worse, Ironwood personally intervenes with his army of robots as he quickly handles the situation by having those robots subdue the rioters. At first, it seems like he’s being the reasonable authority figure that we all know and love… Then he looks to one of the rioters, the drunk man that Weiss would have tossed into the bin, and tells him “With all the negativity you’re showering onto others, the Grimm are only interested in you right now.” Then, as coldly as the robot he commands, says “Cast these rabble out to the cold.” They comply, much to Ruby’s dismay, as some of the robots throw about a dozen people out of the wall and lock them out. They beg to be let in as we end the episode with a person looking in horror as he sees a Manticore swoop in and we get one of those shots where the monster eats the camera.

Episode 8 begins with a long, silent moment with all the members of RWBY, JNPR, the Ace-Ops, and Qrow in Ironwood’s office. It’s obvious what has to be said, and Nora is the one to say it.

“You sent them out there to die.” She grumbles.

“The longer they remained in Mantle, the longer they caused trouble.” He replies.

“That doesn’t mean you should have killed them!” Nora shouts.

“Would you rather I had my robots shoot them right there? In front of everyone? I’m a general, not a dictator.” James said.

“Well, you certainly acted like one back there.” Nora retorted. We see Clover is a little unnerved with Nora’s replies.

“One of my highest-preforming Huntresses is unable to walk without mechanical equipment because of them and if I had let them stay any longer, I feared that I wouldn’t be able to save her or anyone for that matter. I shouldn’t have gone lenient. Because of that, we now have one of Salem’s minions hiding out in Mantle, ready to strike again and make everything worse.” Ironwood says.

To make a long conversation short, he orders the Ace-Ops track down Tyrian and execute him on sight, along with any other suspected members of Salem, as that’s what they do. Meanwhile he confesses that he hasn’t been truthful to them about something out of fear that the plan would be leaked. He plans to have a satellite built on Amity Arena and hoist it up, using it to reactivate the CCT. There, he will tell the world what Ozpin neglected to tell them: the real cause of the Fall of Beacon is Salem and they must unite to kill her. He labels it as Operation Unifying Freedom. The crowd goes pretty silent as Weiss asks if this would even work, as people may believe it to be a lie. That’s when Ruby gets the idea to bring Robyn into the picture, as she realizes what her Semblance can do.

Ironwood explains that Robyn refuses to work with Atlas and he fears that her stance against Atlas would only make things worse. While he has a point at first, he then continues to spout off how Robyn can’t be trusted in a manner that screams paranoia, thinking that she too could be a spy for Salem without realizing that she has nothing to gain from rallying the citizens of Mantle with conspiracy theories they don’t believe. Oscar calms him down and asks him about Atlas’s Relic, since he wonders how it can be involved in OUF. Ironwood complies and we’ll get a later scene.

From here, we have people assessing the newly found situation. Ruby and Jaune talk about whether she should tell Ironwood about Salem not being able to die. Jaune is pretty insistent that they do before Ironwood steps into matters he has no idea about, reminding her that Pyrrha never found out about Salem when she died.

Ren and Nora confront each other about Ironwood, to which Ren explicitly spells out that they’re doing jack and shit while Ironwood is trying his hardest to help. Nora brings up her “you’re not the one struggling” speech, but with a heavier coding that implies she knows more about Mantle than Ren realizes. Ren ends the conversation by guilt-tripping Nora. “The sooner we beat Salem and place her back in the sludge from which she came, the sooner we could prevent another Kuroyuri from happening.”

Blake visits Neon in a hospital bed, who is bummed out at being told she’ll never walk again with her injury. They have a touching heart to heart where Blake tries to take the blame for the bad things that happened to her, saying that she should have helped improve relations everywhere, only for Neon to tell her that she’s done enough. While at first, it comes off as rude, Neon explains that Blake can’t just change the world on her own, especially with something as deep-rooted as racism. The most she can do is make a change in her area. Neon cites herself as an example. Before, no Faunus were allowed at Atlas or if they did, they have to hide their traits. Neon gave them the middle finger and wore what she wanted, though this earned Ironwood’s respect enough to use his two seats and allow more Faunus in. Marrow comes in as well and we have what we’re going to get in V8, now without the awkward “but they’re enemies now” moment.

Weiss talks to Yang about her family and asks her what to do about it, as she knows too much about abandonment issues from both parents. Yang sits Weiss down and tells her that even though Taiyang didn’t raise her and Ruby for most of their lives and Raven was too busy murdering innocent people to care, they’re still her family. She’s this close to revealing that Raven is the Spring Maiden, but stops herself short. Unfortunately, Weiss hears enough to draw her conclusion later on.

Ironwood and Oscar talk about the Vault and its Relic of Creation.

“So… What? Can it create stuff?” Oscar asks.

“Ozpin knows more about the relic than I do. The most I know is that we can’t use it.” Ironwood said.

“How so?” Oscar asks.

“Because the person that came before Ozpin used the Relic to hoist a chunk of Solitas in the air. He says it’s to be a beacon of hope…” Ironwood then takes a moment to remorsefully look down at the floor. “If only that were true.”

Oscar asks what he means and as we see Weiss go to her father’s house, Ironwood goes into more details about what happened. After the Great War, the people deciding on the Vytal treaty wanted to blame Mantle for kick-starting the war and as such, charged them with repaying for the ten years of damages and severely cripple their military to prevent another war from happening. It was unanimous, but before the charges could apply, the King struck a deal with the nobility of Mantle that, provided they share their newfound technological knowledge with the rest of the world, he would create a loophole by making the Kingdom of Atlas and prevent them from getting caught in the inevitable punishment of Mantle.

Oscar’s clearly distraught that Ozpin would do something like that, since this meant that the real people who were responsible for the war got away and let innocents take the fall. Ironwood, however, sees it as a chance for Mantle to start anew. “Besides, I can’t do anything about it now… If I were to remove the Staff, then this entire place comes crashing down…” We end with Weiss entering the house as Ironwood reveals that one of the nobles who fled punishment were Gele and Schnee, Jacques and Willow’s ancestors respectively. We see that Weiss isn’t alone, as she had brought RBY with her.

Episode 9 is another Weiss-centric episode, as she is brought up to speed as to what happened. Klein got fired and replaced with Faunus servants (if you want to go the extra mile, all of them are rabbit Faunus). Weiss is found by Willow and they have a small chat about the situation at hand. Willow has sobered quite enough, but the damage to her liver is done and she doesn’t expect to live long. Jacques had it worse though. The bad press and subsequent embargo have stressed Jacques out so much that he’s shortened his life expectancy to about a few months, now on his death bed.

Fiona is there too, having an arm in a sling after surviving a lynching from a mob. When asked what she’s doing here, she explains that she’s to oversee the transaction and ensure Robyn has full ownership of the SDC. This puts the cast at an uncertainty because, while they might fully trust Robyn, it’s clear that the supply of Dust that the SDC can provide would bolster the project by tenfold. Penny is also there, since Winter has been her partner since she was rebuilt and thus, is welcomed into the family.

Knowing that she can take over the SDC, Weiss goes in to confront her father. It’s clear that he’s seen better days. His body is bony, his hair is now a full-on toupee, and he’s coughing irregularly as a monitor beeps, acting as a timer for his remaining life. Jacques sees Weiss and glares at her at first, then melts into a serene glance. Weiss doesn’t buy it, but they have a pretty deep conversation about what happened since Weiss ran away, paired with a piano medley of all of Weiss’s theme songs, starting with “The Path to Isolation”, then both parts to “Mirror Mirror”, followed by “It’s My Turn” However, there’s no “This Life Is Mine” anywhere during the chat…

Jacques reveals that business has plummeted since the embargo, though leaving out that smaller tier dust companies that he hasn’t bought out managed to flourish and keep the minimalist economy of Mantle afloat. He talks of all the people he ruined with his practices, starting from recent cases where he reduced people’s wages to the point where they’re working with less than minimum wage, but then dialing back to before the events, where he talks about the unfortunate explosion that claimed Ilia’s parents as well as “a rowdy Faunus I personally had to deal with… I had a hot branding iron, Weiss, normally to brand my property… And…” Blake instantly knows what he’s talking about and runs off. It’s clear that Jacques is having death bed confessions and while Weiss is ready to tear them down, she can’t. She realizes what Yang meant when she said that they’re still family.

However, Jacques then goes back to his old self and calls Weiss out for being the reason his company went under, practically going all “why did you make me hit you” and the harassment causes Weiss to yell at Jacques, telling him that he is everything that’s wrong with the SDC and that the world would be better off without him. She then runs off and Yang tells Ruby they should go, but Ruby insists on staying with a cold expression that scares Yang. She leaves as Ruby just gives him the business.

“You struck my partner… You turned someone into a monster that maimed my sister and haunted her partner… You’re responsible for these radical attacks from Faunus… And yet you never once thought that it’s people like you that are to blame for the problems of the world? Another Great War could happen very soon and you care more about your bottom dollar than the well-being of others… And yet, I’d rather you live, to see us turn the world you and everyone else have corrupted into a better place than what anyone had thought of 80 years ago. I want you to live and see your daughter take your company and use it in ways you can never imagine…”

“… Well, I hate to disappoint you then…” He coughs and flops onto his bed, having gasped his last, the long beep confirming his death. Ruby is shocked as Weiss comes in and sees this. This is where a somber piano rendition of “This Life is Mine” plays, as Weiss breaks down into tears. She wanted this to happen for so long, to take over the SDC from her father, and yet, this wasn’t what she had in mind. Ruby comforts her, but then says this:

“He told me what he could never muster the strength to tell you… He loved you, truly, but he had a funny way of showing it and he apologized for all the pain and torture he inflicted onto others…” She says it in a way that convinces Weiss, but Yang leaves the room, being very shocked with the fact that Ruby straight up lied. Before, telling Ironwood that he could beat Salem and not telling him about the immortality was acceptable since she never once said he could kill Salem and they all understand that delaying her plans counts as “beating”. Now? She pretty much lied to Weiss’s face about what her father said and the worst part is, she can’t properly call her out on it.

Blake and Yang then have a chat about whether this was for the best as the piano song shifts to “Nevermore”, with Yang breaking down and telling Blake: “I lied too! I lied about the Spring Maiden!” However, Blake doesn’t get upset with this, namely because she has no idea what the Spring Maiden fiasco was all about. She notes that they have changed since the Fall of Beacon and this is where Penny comes in, escorting Winter so as to help comfort her when she inevitably sees her father’s cadaver. However, Winter insists she’ll be fine and goes ahead as Penny joins in on the conversation, only to be told by Yang that, no. It will not be like Beacon again. It will never be like Beacon again. They’ve changed so much from the past few months/year that they are barely the same person. Blake even confesses to having taken a life. Penny begins to cry, yet she doesn’t understand why yet, though it’s implied that she is the only one of the characters that hasn’t “grown up” due to her situation.

The piano medley returns to “This Life Is Mine” as Weiss and Winter, taking time to set up an interview, attempt to announce that Weiss is to inherit the title… Only for Weiss to refuse. She makes a speech on how she needs to improve the world and that she will do it more as a Huntress than she would as the owner and so respects her father’s wishes for Whitley to take over the SDC and having Ironwood financially back the company in trade for helping them with a project to reboot the CCT. Ironwood sees this and has a freak-out when she reveals the plans for the CCT, telling Clover that she’s leaking plans.

We see people react to the news unfolding as the song becomes much more sinister and twisted. Cinder and Neo don’t give two shits, but Cinder decides to figure out a means to take this to her advantage. Watts just smirks and mutters that there’s no use as he cracks the code to Mantle’s heating grid and shuts it off. People then begin to freak out as Robyn sees the notification that the SDC will not be bought out by the Happy Huntresses. As May asks Robyn if that’s a problem, she sees people go into a riot before she smirks. “No, no I don’t think it will.” As she says that, the piano makes a full transition to “When It Falls” as we see people raid shops, throw trashcans at TVs, set up huge fires, and toss the robots into the fire, all while Grimm begin to raid Mantle.

Episode 10 kicks off with a large raid alarm as RWBY, JNPR, and even the Ace-Ops and Happy Huntresses try to stave off the raid. This is where things mostly stay the same with the exception of no Ironwood telling everyone his plans. However, Ironwood does take his weapons and goes to the Amity Arena, knowing that at least someone would interfere in his plans. He expresses a bit of shock that it’s Watts who is there, but he doesn’t mind it one bit.

“Thought you died.”

“I did.” He gives a smirk and doesn’t give much detail until…

Episode 11, where a battle causes Watts to get injured and reveals that he’s a robot with his aura implanted into it. “I finally saw what the fat bastard was talking about when he talked of preserving life.” The fights remain the same, but the change begins when Watts has the last laugh, taunting him that his attempts to stop Salem will be fruitless and that he finds using the CCT to rally the world together will only end in pain. Ironwood, determined to stop Salem, drops Watts into the pit of lava, though not before Watts deactivates his robot body and turns it into a conduit to hack into Amity Arena and thus hijack the CCT built inside.

Tyrian is soon beaten and it’s discussed what they should do with him. Robyn wants him to stand trial while Clover wants to execute him. Robyn protests, calling Clover a bootlicker for doing what Ironwood has told him to, but Qrow shuts her up and tells her that Tyrian is a dangerous fucking serial killer that has done far more harm than good. Robyn scoffs, then leaves as Clover prepares to execute Tyrian with his fishing pole (the first time he actually reveals his weapon) and as we see the bob and hook, people might be able to connect the dots…

However, before then, RWBY, having evacuated the people of Mantle (save for the few stubborn ones that they can’t do anything about) and Weiss seeing a homeless Klein and almost sacrificing herself to save and evacuate. Robyn sneaks aboard while RWBY and the Ace-Ops report back to Ironwood over the chess piece he found. Unlike in the original, he is a lot more stable with how he handles it, telling RWBY to go track down Cinder while he prepares the transfer to Winter. This makes Weiss upset though, since this means killing Fria. Ironwood tells them they have no other choice in the matter, since they can’t risk Cinder taking another Maiden power. Ruby manages to convince Ironwood that, they wouldn’t need to do the transfer if they find Cinder first and take her down. He gives them that benefit of the doubt at least.

Meanwhile, inside the craft, Robyn tells the people that this is exactly what Ironwood wants, to corral Mantle and make them dance under his strings until they do what he wants. This actually gets through to the people who are finally fed up with Atlas stomping on them and Robyn enacts a full-blown revolt. Making matters worse is that Salem uses the hacked CCT (in which the virus is basically a digitized Seer) to broadcast herself onto Atlas and Mantle. This is where the scene where Salem appears comes in, but recontextualized because here, she’s talking to everyone, not just Ironwood and RWBY.

She shows just how real she is by commanding some of the Grimm to stop attacking Mantle and return to the tundra, saying how she’ll make the Grimm never bother Mantle again provided they give the Lamp and the Staff to her. Ruby interrupts using her phone and tells her that they’ll beat her, with Ironwood adding that they will destroy her. Salem just laughs, knowing that Ruby has slipped that she knows about Salem. Gives her the famous “your mother” quote, but with the added quote of “None can really kill me… Isn’t that what found out from dear old Ozpin?”

“What is she talking about?” Ironwood asks Ruby, she stammers.

“I… I mean what I said. We can beat Salem-” Then Yang interrupts her.

“But we can’t kill her. We don’t know the full extent but… Ozpin in a past life asked if there was a way to destroy her and he was told that he can’t. So…” Yang looks to Ruby with a disappointed look in her eyes.

Ironwood slumps into his chair as Salem broadcasts her intent to invade Atlas to grab the Relics and that they’d make things much more pleasant for themselves if they handed them over. She gives one last parting remark before she logs out. Now, we can have Ironwood react one of two ways, which would impact the rest of the story.

Either he nuts up and decides to go nuclear on Salem’s ass, stubbornly believing that there has to be a way to destroy Salem and goes all in on having Winter become the Maiden so they can have Atlas go down rather than up. With people comparing this scene to Sokovia, might as well just go all in with the plot, right? Ruby and the others protest that this would end the world with the force Atlas would have, Ironwood goes “with us or against us”, Ruby makes an announcement and calls him a bitch ass motherfucker, and we get the same conclusion as before where the Ace Ops turn on RWBY.

Or

He sits calmly. Ruby can see the lights in his eyes fade as the Ace-Ops panic. Even Weiss and Blake are afraid. Ruby then tells Ironwood that they have to do something, only for Ironwood to smile and say “Ruby… There’s a solution here you’re not seeing…” Before he pulls out his white gun and puts it at his head, ending the episode with a literal bang.

Either way, the Ace-Ops turn on RWBY, either by following orders or because they blame Ruby for filling Ironwood with false hope, with Harriet calling it a disease and that Ruby spreads it around like a plague.

If we don’t end the episode with Ironwood’s suicide, then we end with Tyrian musing and commenting on how Ironwood has picked a new attack dog. Qrow is confused at this before he remembers all the murders that were caused. At first, he suspected it to be Tyrian, but as Clover looks on, he puts two and two together and asks:

“… No… You didn’t…”

“Sometimes, you have to pull a few bad weeds to keep your clover patch alive…” He coldly says.

Episode 12 picks up right where the last episode would leave off, with Clover and Qrow having a stand off, with Clover explaining that the Ace-Ops aren’t called that because they’re the best, far from it, but because they’re willing to do the things no normal person would do, and that includes killing certain people to keep the system alive. Qrow tries his hardest not to fight Clover, but unfortunately for him, Clover concludes that he is to die alongside Tyrian, who has healed. Like in the previous fixing Volume 7 thing I did, the fight becomes more of a proper melee a trois where Clover, Tyrian, and Qrow battle each other equally.

Tyrian, in the middle of this, says how he used to be Ironwood’s attack dog before his destructive nature caused Ironwood to fire and arrest him before said behaviour stings his metaphorical froggy ass (remember that old fable he’s based off?) and notes how Clover takes after him with how the bob and hook look eerily like a scorpion stinger, hence how he put two and two together. The fight gets pretty brutal before Qrow ends up finally managing to control his Semblance by figuring out where to target. He ends up targeting Clover and cancels out the good luck he has, putting him on an even level, then slipping the bad luck over to Tyrian to trip the both of them up. It ends the same, with Qrow punching Clover’s aura. Clover tells Qrow that he’s willing to die for his Kingdom and asks if that’s something Qrow would do. Tyrian stabs Clover, leaves as he hears the cops come, and Clover, in his last words, just tells Qrow “you and your entire team… you killed us all!” Qrow then closes his eyes and cries, saying “Yeah, I know…”

Like in the previous rewrite, we have Neo take the relic from Oscar, but she’s stopped by a mob of people that are raiding the base. JNR find Neo and Oscar decks her in the face, but it’s clear they’re outnumbered… Only for the mob to remember the four and help them, one of them telling Neo that if they mess with one with them, she messes with all of them.

RWBY vs the Ace-Ops… goes the same. But now we don’t have the “they’re the best of the best but then they trained RWBY” BS.

Episode 13 has the crowd mess with Neo, but even so, she outmaneuvers them and kills a few of them. In the chaos, she takes the Relic of Knowledge as guards come in and gun down the crowd. Jaune runs, only before seeing one of the kids getting shot as well. Jaune just freaks out, then rushes in and kills one of the guards. A robot catches footage of this and he’s suddenly on the wanted list. He tells Ren and Nora to run with Oscar as he holds off the guards. Robyn helps Jaune out in taking out the guards last minute.

Everything with Penny, Winter, Fria, and Cinder are the same. The ending, however, depends on what happened to Ironwood.

Ironwood Lives Ending: He orders every intruder to be killed on sight, prompting RWBY, Nora and Ren to flee to Mantle. Oscar stays behind and talks to Ironwood before he gets shot and Ozpin comes back. This is the most in line to V7’s ending.

Ironwood Dies Ending: The crowd easily overpower the military and take over, but now have crippled themselves as Salem’s forces arrive. Robyn does not care though, as she tosses Ironwood’s corpse out the window and towards the icy depths below before taking over his position. “Headmaster Hill… Has a nice ring to it…” RWBY and JNPR reconvene as they bare witness to Salem’s forces arriving. Blake asks Ruby:

“What do we do now?”

To which Ruby replies:

“Now? Now we save the world.” Before we end with her cocking her rifle.

The Stinger would be Ozpin coming back to Oscar and telling him that the fate of Remnant is not for him and his faction to decide on anymore. That it now rests in the new generation. He passes on and it’s Oscar who becomes the dominant as all the memories of Ozma’s lives come back. Oscar is now filled with determination.

And with that, that’s how I’d do Volume 7 if the Mantle subplot was more akin to the post 9/11 environment than it is 2016 Elections, with bits of modern-day politics and even a bit of Stalinism involved. The Penny Subplot can either be in this Volume unaltered or to be decided upon next Volume.

[laurellynnleake]

Fight To Protect Immigrants! - Resource & Organization Masterlist (updated: 6/22/18)

If you need help and/or want to help others trapped in the brutal US immigration system, let me get you started! Regardless of your time and abilities, you can help in countless ways big and small. Head to Informed Immigrant to find local/national/global orgs supporting undocumented immigrants - you can donate money/time/transportation, join protest actions, register voters, cook dinners, watch kids, and simply provide emotional support to people!

I’ve gathered together some useful links and resources here - please help me spread ‘em around, and add any of your own links and info too (and let me know if you donate/contact reps and I’ll draw you some art).

Calling Scripts: 

Check out Celeste Pewter’s twitter for up-to-date call scripts and resources for contacting your reps and fighting for human rights (@ her or use #Icalledmyreps after you call to get a boost and/or share info). She eventually transcribes most scripts here, but can take several days, so while these links below go to images on twitter I’ve also included captions under the cut.

Tips for calling your electeds

Calling Senate/House for Feinstein/Nadler’s Keep Families Together Act post EO (6/22), and for Texans near the border (6/13)

Call scripts pushing for House/Senators to investigate DHS’s Zero Tolerance Policy (6/22), and for contacting the DOJ/DHS to protest the Zero Tolerence Policy post executive order (6/20)

Call scripts for governors to refuse to send the National Guard to the border (6/22) and calling for Sec Nielson’s resignation (6/18)

Calling Congress re: Kids already separated, and rumors of military lawyers (06/22)

Calling governors, federal reps, and state attorney’s about joining the multi-state lawsuit (6/22)

General Guides for Contacting Reps:

Find My Reps

Resistbot (emails and faxes reps for you)

5calls

Herd on the Hill a FB group of dedicated volunteers who will print out your letters, and deliver them.

How to Call Your Reps When You Have Social Anxiety

Legislative & Organizing Resources:

Join a local protest at FamiliesBelong.org. Donate here.

ACLU Know Your Rights pocket guides includes ICE Visits (ICE Visitas), If Questioned About Imm. Status (Que Hacer Si Le Preguntan Acerca de su Estatus Migratorio), and What To Do If Stopped By Police (Qué Debe Hacer Si la Policía/Agentes de Inmigración/FBI) in English and en Español, as well as guides for protests.

Know Your Rights Handouts: If ICE Raids a Home/Employer/Public Space (AILA) in Español, Chinese, Portuguese, Haitian Creole, & Punjabi

Indivisible’s Immigration News Resources

Indivisible’s Immigrant Ally Toolkit

Tisp for attending protests and rallies and advice for white allies

Look up ICE detention centers here

Internet security: FB centric, basic computer security, more elaborate

Organizations to Join/Support:

Use the Informed Immigrant to find groups near you, find legal aid, and join the fight!  

Pueblos Sin Fronteras provides humanitarian aid to migrants and refugees. Donate here.

Al Otro Lado is a bi-national, direct legal services organization serving indigent deportees/migrants/refugees in Tijuana, Mexico. Donate here.

The Florence Project provides free legal services to adults and unaccompanied children in imm. custody in Arizona. Donate here.

Border Angels serves San Diego County’s immigrant population through various migrant outreach programs such as Day Laborer outreach, a free legal assistance program, and more. Donate here.

RAICES provides free and low-cost legal services to underserved immigrant children, families, and refugees in Texas. Donate here.

The Immigrant Children’s Assistance Project is an American Bar Association project currently helping unaccompanied children in South Texas w/ knowing their rights. Donate here.

United We Dream is the largest immigrant-youth led group in the USA, and their site provides news, event info, as well as guides and toolkits for fighting the system, protecting LGBTQ immigrants, and taking care of your mental health. Donate here.

The Black Alliance for Just Immigration “educates and engages African American and black immigrant communities to organize and advocate for racial, social, and economic justice.” Donate here.

The Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR) is one of the largest civil rights and advocacy organizations dedicated to fighting against discrimination against Muslims. Click here to donate to the national organization or a specific campaign, or click here to find your local CAIR chapter (which needs your support as much/even more).

CUNY CLEAR provides representation and rights training to Muslim communities targeted by law enforcement. Donate here.

Families for Freedom fights on behalf of families facing deportation. “We are immigrant prisoners (detainees), former immigrant prisoners, their loved ones, or individuals at risk of deportation.” Donate here.

The Immigrant Defense Project uses impact litigation, advocacy, and public education to fight to stop mass deportations and an unjust immigration system. Donate here.

The Immigrant Legal Resource Center (ILRC) is a national resource center that helps train immigration lawyers and advocates on the local, state and federal level. Donate here.

The International Rescue Committee works to provide aid to people affected by humanitarian crises. You can donate to specifically support U.S. refugee resettlement programs re: Trump’s Muslim Ban here, and see other ways to get involved (volunteering/calling reps) here.

The International Refugee Assistance Project works to organize lawyers and law students to fight for the human and legal rights of refugees through legal aid and policy advocacy. For legal help click here, and to donate click here.

Make the Road New York uses policy advocacy, organizing, education, and survival services (including workforce training and adult education) to improve the lives of immigrants—in particular Latino and working class communities—in NYC. Donate here, get involved here.

Mariposas Sin Fronteras works with LGBTQ people detained in immigration facilities and works to get vulnerable detainees out on bond. Donate here.

MPower Change does grassroots organizing, campaigning, and storytelling to empower Muslim communities in the USA. Donate here.

National Immigration Law Center works for the rights of low-income immigrants through impact legislation, policy analysis and advocacy, communications, and education programs. Donate here.

Northwest Immigrant Rights Project offers legal services directly to immigrants with its network of 350 pro-bono attorneys. Donate here.

Remember, one person alone can’t do everything, so please take care of yourself and each other - but if we all do a little, we can make a difference together!

Captions for the Pewter call scripts under the cut, as well as a list of pro-bono legal aid and therapist volunteers organized by Joanna Rothkopf.

Tips for calling your electeds, especially if you’re leaving a VM

If you’re leaving a voicemail, make sure you clearly state your name and where you are calling from. (Zip, etc.)

Make sure you have a concrete ask, or specify a specific opinion. Imagine a staffer asking: “What’s the best outcome/resolution for you?” and frame your comment that way. E.g. If you want them to specifically oppose an amendment, say that, and explain why.

Always clarify if you would like a response, and leave a way for the office to reach you. (Phone number, email, etc.)

If you have another issue, bring it up on the phone at the time. Always personalize your comments.

For Cruz/Cornyn constituents on the TX detention facilities: (06/18, tweaked by OP)

You: Hi, my name is [name]. I am calling from [zıp code]. You: I am calling today to ask [Cruz/Cornyn] take a stand... 

Opposing the detention facilities for young people in Texas, and

To also oppose the DHS’s overall zero tolerance policy.

You: The horrific conditions being experienced by these children are absolutely unacceptable, and betray the values of our state.

You: <Insert optional comments here>

You: Furthermore, I am also calling on [Cruz/Cornyn] to support their colleague Senator Feinstein’s Keep Families Together Act. President Trump has clearly and repeatedly stated he would support a bill to keep families together, so I expect [Cruz/Cornyn] to follow the GOP agenda.

Call the capitol switchboard: (202) 224-3121 #ICALLEDMYREPS @CELESTE PEWTER

Talking points for Texas residents re: local/state electeds re: the detention facilities (06/13)

What did the city/county/state know about these proposals to hold children in warehouses, with limited access to fresh air? Does local city/county/state official condone these practices?

If yes: does [official] understand that these kids are in conditions that are comparable to what certain criminals experience in jail?

If no: great. How will [elected] address this with their federal counterparts? I do not support facilities like these, and want [elected] to exert all possible pressure with their federal counterparts.

Will [elected] come out with a public statement condemning these facilities?

Call the capitol switchboard: (202) 224-3121 #ICALLEDMYREPS @CELESTEPEWTER

For House/Senators re: DHS’s Zero tolerance policy (opening investigations) Talking points post-Trump executive order (6/20)

The Executive Order would only create family detention centers which would continue to lead to expanded camps.

The executive order doesn't offer recourse for reuniting already- separated families The EO gives wide discretion to DHS Secretary Nielsen

Crossing the border will be deemed a criminal violation, vs. a civil one (which will lead to parents being charged criminally; and children likely being taken)

The EO doesn't address asylum seekers, and will still prohibit anyone seeking asylum under domestic violence/gang violence from seeking asylum

The House bill (Border Security and Immigration Reform Act) will also not fully address these concerns.

Call the capitol switchboard: (202) 224-3121 #ICALLEDMYREPS @CELESTE PEWTER

Talking points re: the DOJ/DHS following Trump's Executive Order signing (6/20)

Ask the DOJ/DHS stop lying about the origins of zero tolerance policy - it's well documented it's a Trump Administration policy

Stop using Flores to justify this policy.

Stop saying it's about the wall. Democrats have actually offered funding for the wall before (during the DACA debate) and the GOP/Trump Administration passed. This is NOT about the wall

Per news reports this morning, DHS thought the zero tolerance policy would deter border crossings. According to public documents sited by outlets like the Hill, crossings have actually gone up, including crossings by unaccompanied minor children

The Executive order doesn't have a recourse for how families will be reunited. How will the DOJ/DHS address this?

Stop insisting this is up to Congress to act - this is a DHS/DOJ created problem

Call your SENATORS post-Trump's executive order signing re: family separation (06/22)

You: Hi, my name is [name]. I am calling from [zip code} You: I am calling to ask Senators to continue to do everything in their legislative power to address the DHS/DOJ's zero tolerance policy. You: This week's executive order does not adequately solve the problem of family separation; it just creates family detention centers, and doesn't address the overarching problem. You: We also need clarity on how this executive order helps the children who have already been separated. The administration is claiming 500 kids have been reunited. When will we get proof? When is this rumored staging ground in Texas supposed to be complete?

Dem Senators: Finally, I'd like to call on [Senator] to continue to express support for Feinstein's Keep Families Together Act. GOP Senators: I am calling on [Senator] to support Feinstein's Keep Families Together. You: <Additional comments>

Call the capitol switchboard: (202) 224-3121 #ICALLEDMYREPS @CELESTE PEWTER

Call both chambers re: asking for Secretary Nielsen's resignation (06/18)

You: Hi, my name is [name]. I am calling from [zip code]. You: I am calling on [elected] to issue a public statement to ask for Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen's resignation. Not only has she been complicit in helping the Trump Administration institute their new zero tolerance policy, she has lied repeatedly to the public on the policy, and what it does and doesn't do. You: I am calling on [elected] to follow in congressional colleague Senator Kamala Harris's footsteps, and call for Secretary Nielsen's resignation immediately. You: <insert optional comment>

Call the capitol switchboard: (202) 224-3121 #ICALLEDMYREPS @CELESTE PEWTER

Call your GOVERNORS and ask them to direct the national guard to NOT send resources to the border (06/18)

You: Hi, my name is [name]. I am calling from [zip code].

You: I am calling to ask [GOVERNOR] to please follow Governor Baker of Massachusetts, by instructing the national guard to not deploy to the US-Mexico border. The National Guard cannot and should not be used to further assist in enforcing the Zero Tolerance policy being enacted by the Trump Administration.

You: I am also calling on [GOVERNOR] to commit to signing an executive order similar to Governor Hickenlooper of Colorado, prohibiting any state resources from being used to asssist the Trump Administration's efforts to enforce the zero tolerance policy. I understand it's largely ceremonial, but I want [GOVERNOR] to commit to taking a stand.

You: <insert optional comments here>

Find your governor's contact info here: https://openstates.org #ICALLEDMYREPS @CELESTE PEWTER

Talking points re: JAG corps allegedly being assigned to try cases at the border (06/22)

JAG lawyers have different rules to follow than civilian lawyers. How can we be sure they'll follow proper procedure when trying cases? How will any appeals process on behalf of the defendant be impacted (if applicable) given that military and civilian appeals are different?

WHY are we letting DHS/HHS utilize DOD resources, for something that is strictly in DHS/HHS territory? What is the justification?

Should we not be concerned we're allowing military personnel to handle civilian affairs? This is conflating multiple departments and cross issues.

Call the capitol switchboard: (202) 224-3121 #ICALLEDMYREPS @CELESTE PEWTER

Call your GOVERNORS and ask them to continue issuing directives to NOT support border efforts + support their requests for clarity on children in their respective states (06/22)

You: Hi, my name is [name]. I am calling from [zip code]

You: I am calling to ask [GOVERNOR] to continue to refuse to utilize any state resources that would help the federal government's zero tolerance policy. [GOVERNOR] should commit to signing an executive order similar to Governor Hickenlooper of Colorado.

If there are children in your state: I am also calling on [Governor] to continue to be vocal on the need to get accurate numbers on how many children are in our state, and where these facilities are. I ask [Governor] to do everything in their power to tour these facilities. Accountability is needed. You: <insert optional comments here>

Find your governor's contact info here: https://openstates.org #ICALLEDMYREPS @CELESTE PEWTER

Call your local electeds to request a resolution condemning the zero tolerance policy/family separation (6/22)

You: Hi, my name is [name]. I am calling from [address/zip code].

You: I am calling to ask [MAYOR/CITY COUNCILMEMBER] to please endorse a resolution that makes clear [CITY] does not condone the Trump Administration's current immigration practices, including family separation, family detention centers, and the refusal to provide asylum to those who are seeking it under domestic violence and gang violence.

You: Yesterday's federal executive order does little to solve the problem. Families are still separated, and the executive order only opens up the pathway to family detention centers.

You: I am calling on [MAYOR/CITY COUNCILMEMBER] to show what our city stands for, and take a stand. You: <insert optional comment here>

#ICALLEDMYREPS @CELESTE PEWTER

Call your Attorneys general, and ask them to join the multi-state lawsuit. (06/22)

You: Hi, my name is [name]. I am calling from [zip code].

You: I am calling on [AG] to join the other state attorneys generals who are planning on suing the Trump Administration to compel reunification for the 2.3K children separated from their families.

You: As Maryland's AG Frosh confirmed in an interview: the executive order does not adequately address the problems that have resulted in family separation; including how to reunite the families, and the government appears to not have a concrete plan.

You: Please sign onto the lawsuit and compel the administration to act.

You: <insert optional comment>

Find your AG: http://www.naag.org/naag/attorneys- general/whos-my-ag.php

Attorneys:

Ted Colquett, Birmingham, AL -  ted@colquettlaw.com, (205) 245-4370

Morgan Petriello, Los Angeles, CA - mpetriello@frandzel.com, (323) 651-2577

Elleni Kalouris, Chicago suburbs, IL - ekalouris@kalourislawfirm.com

Therapists:

Muni Olia, Philadelphia, PA - Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist - munira.olia@nyu.edu

Ruth Durack, MSW, Peoria, IL - Social Worker - ruth.durack@lssi.org

Lauren Fallon, LCSW, IL - Social Worker - lauren.brown04@gmail.com

Jennifer Goldstein, Chicago, IL - Therapist - jennifergoldstein2@gmail.com

Gloria Jetter, LMSW, New York, NY - Social Worker - glojetter@gmail.com

Note: These attorneys and therapists/psychiatrists were shared via Jezebel, and have not been vetted by the website; their inclusion on the list is by request.If you are an attorney or therapist who would like to offer your services to immigrants and refugees pro-bono, email Joanna Rothkopf with your contact information at joanna@jezebel.com. The descriptions I found for many of these resources are also courtesy of Rothkopf and Pewter.

Please consider boosting this post, @phonescripts​, @justsomeantifas​, and @nativenews​! 

[the-firebird69]

Already not even there so he's giving his father from India trouble and says go get my bike back and you don't even have it out there yet so they're buying a whole bunch from China and they're setting up shops and building them and they're getting the text back from us and equipment now the same Jesus Christ we're way behind they even have a cycles like it and they're not that great but they're not that bad either but I always work a lot better and people love him and driving around real fast all over Earth we had a huge orders on choppers especially in Florida Florida went up and increased 95% on the orders for all of the Chinese brand and the choppers they bought 300 million and you're going to see those and you'll see one here everyone's awhile they have way too much speed way too much power tons of them are buying the upgraded version they love it they go 0 to 60 in like one second that's why they do it it is huge by the way huge here people love those choppers in Miami Tampa it's a big huge Chopper area and they're like these Miami gang people and they put tats on and they're temporary and they roll around with their tats and these big choppers they're freaking love it it is just out of control and they're buying more now

But we have sales today of about:00 octillion one octillion and that's a thousand septillion and we're going to meet production and America will be flooded with this product you're going to see it everywhere cars are being recycled all over the place and they're sending us the ingot and we're just buying from the recycler and they say they're saving their business by selling it can you make a lot of money we're paying good money for recycled metal and other we even buy rubber tires we know how to recycle the tires and nobody could figure it out and a son figured it out right now but doesn't want to tell you tons of people know will and Bill did it but they couldn't get it to work after. It's all sorts of things going on my cells are up way up and we're producing tons and tons of this bike the number one seller is the regular bike he'll probably have one they say everybody gets one eventually and the car is selling like crazy way too many to mention and people are starting to get around and figure out they're sitting around dying so we're going ahead and helping him and we're starting up everything and it's moving we have tons and tons of help now huge factory is going up giant factories the factories are so big it's ridiculous and it's just gigantic so tons of people are trying to get to us invite will probably start cuz he can't figure out where we are

I'm very impressed with this idea and was selling so many on these other websites that I think would put like more of the line on there and people want us to and we're asking them and they say sometimes you don't want to put it all on there and and he says you can put some more in there but he thinks it like different spots so don't look like they're together and then they can sell one like one of the like the Enduro like a sale price and pretend you're not selling them it kind of agrees so we have one that's like 1700 bucks to like 1300 bucks everybody will buy it and then you just stick it in the regular lineup once it sells more we're going to try that and everybody wants to buy one cuz it's going to be cheaper it's going to be a huge thing this giant sale we figured out something and then I can put like the mini bike for sale somewhere but not in Walmart and everybody buys these things and resells them and they don't really ever get a reseller license and you see them all over it flea markets especially things like the mini bike and the small dirt bikes and now it's selling pit bikes those little sport racers and the kids are buying them because they're fast enough to race and they don't they don't require much tweaking you just take the limiter out and they can race them on the circuit everything is pro racing quality they say for like 10 year olds there's a larger one another one for like 12-year-olds and they're all racing them and they want to see them at those flea markets so they're selling a bunch of Garth and was selling a bunch to the other guys too even Tommy wants to go down to their flea market so a whole bunch of them so Jason's doing it now he's got like hundreds of the pit bikes hey Chris can't buy a pit bike you can't afford it he'd buy a pit bike and I'll be it and couldn't go anywhere it might be able to go somewhere on the 49cc racing sport bike but we don't sell much of those cuz they're racing the 125 for real it's a different class they don't raise much of and he's going to introduce his go-kart idea and we're going to go kart USA to see if they want to harbor it sell it there actually and we'll see what they think the idea is outstanding the guy heard about the idea and tried to do and he couldn't and we got several models and you can buy all these accessories to sit down with him today

Thor Freya

He says it's a dream and the go-karts go pretty fast some of them are 70 mph and they look like little cars and it's a dream because he wanted to escape when he was little they couldn't find a little car that he could drive his dad's car that he drove was too big

[apartofthelosersclub]

Tricksters

A/N: So this is my first time writing, seeing as I am finally getting the courage to do so. This was inspired by @dailyau ‘s prompt,“I’m the owner of a magic shop and you discover my magics one day when you walk in on my cat flying around inside the shop on a broom and now I have to take you in as my apprentice or turn you into a toad” AU

I’m going to tweak the prompt a bit (a lot) so that it’ll fit what I have in mind, The Losers Club will be aged up (14-15). I’m also going to make it so that Beverly is friends with the all of The Losers Club before anything about Pennywise happens. They’ll all be older when they encounter Pennywise. After (Y/N) befriends them all and joins the Losers Club, Pennywise will start his reign of terror on Derry.

I am in the process of making fan art for this, hopefully it goes well!

Pairing: Richie Tozier x Female!Reader

(Y/B/N) is your brother’s name

Trigger Warnings include but are not limited to: Profanity

The shop had just opened.

It was a dump before they came to Derry, and fixed it up. The storefronts’ paint was peeling, the windows were frosted with dust, and the doors didn’t even have knobs. But they fixed it up. The man and his kid? He didn’t look old enough to have kids, much less this this teenage girl.

The storefront now had a fresh coat of ruby red paint; the windows, now clean, appeared transparent with red velvet curtain with gold designs behind them; The doors, freshly painted, now had shiny glass knobs. In cursive lettering above the shop read,

Y/L/N’s Thaumaturgy Shop

“W-what the fuck Richie!”

“You couldn’t have shut your mouth this one time?”

“The mullet wearing asshole deserved what came out of my trashmouth”

Pedaling away on silver bikes was the infamous losers club. Bill and Mike, who cycled the fastest were in front of everyone else, looking out in every direction to find an escape route or someplace to hide to get away from rapidly approaching Bowers gang. Stan, Eddie, and Ben, took it upon themselves to start planning their eulogies in case they didn’t make it. Beverly and Richie on the other hand, in spite of noticing the rapidly approaching car, further provoked the Bowers gang by flipping them off and taunting them.

“Bev, January Ember, could you please not flip them off! They have a car; we have bikes and low stamina.” Ben huffed as he imagined the sight of the Bowers gang coming closer, forcing himself to go faster. He didn’t dare to look back. Beverly allowed a wicked smirk to stretch across her lips.

“Now, why would I do that Ben? It feels amazing flipping them off and getting away,” respond Beverly.

“What you are feeling right now is adrenaline, which causes intense excitement and stimulation caused by the adrenal glands. When that wears off you’ll slip into a flight or fight mode, once you register that you are near something that is a threat to your survival!” wheezed Eddie.

“Come on, Eds, live a little will ya?”

“Beep Fucking Beep Richie!”

“Bill where the hell are we going to hide?” barked Stan.

“The town is nearing, we’ll hide our bikes and go into one of the shops. They’ll find us if we go to the barrens,” shouted Mike.

“Al-alright, try to f-find a shop e-everyone!”

(Y/B/N) sat at the table with the tarot cloth spread out, and shuffled his Tarot cards swiftly in his hands. He regarded them with such care and warmth. As if handling something living.

“Would you like your fortune to be read?” (Y/B/N) spoke softly, even though we were the only ones in the shop.

“Is there going to be a full moon today?”

“Yes,” he replied, looking up at me.

“This calls for the Full Moon Clarity spread, yes?”

“You’re starting to understand tarot reading and the different spreads, that’s good. However, would you like your fortune read?” he inquired once more.

“Yes, please.” We didn’t read into someone’s fortune without asking. Other readers could if they wanted to, we however, didn’t think it to be polite.

As (Y/B/N) was beginning to finish shuffling the tarot cards, two popped out of the deck. Instead of putting them back in the deck, he simply put them to the side faced down. He began to put them into a particular spread that coincided with the full moon that would appear tonight.

The cards were faced down so we couldn’t see them. The first card of the spread we turned over.

“What is being hidden from you?” he questioned the cards.

“Minor Arcana, Five of Swords. Conflict,” he shuddered. He moved to the next card.

“What is ahead of you, I wonder?” He turned over the card,

“Minor Arcana, Ten of Swords. Illness, endings, tragedy,” he murmured. His mouth was set in a thin line.

“What has led you to this?” he inquired to the cards.

“Major Arcana, Justice. Balance, decisions,” He scoffed, unamused now with the cards. Folding his arms across his chest he asked,

“What conflict could you possibly get into. You’re being homeschooled, so it can’t be bullying, we just moved here so it can’t be anyone that disliked us from before.”

I only looked at the cards. What was on the cards was never set in stone. However, I was frightened of my fortune. We weren't’ even finished reading them all yet.

“What is left for you to do?” he was serious now.

“Minor Arcana, Five of Wands. To fight, to have strong opinions,” I whispered. What would I be fighting I wondered. We had yet to look at the two that had popped out of the deck while he was shuffling them. 

“I won–

The doors to the shop had been slammed open and closed quickly

“In here!”

It was the new shop, which was bright among the dull shops. We hid the bikes in one of the alleyways were they wouldn’t be seen. We had gone from shop to shop, majority of them were closed and locked. The pharmacy was on the other side of town, so we wouldn’t make it without being caught. Mike turned the knobs and pushed the doors in, everyone spilling into the shop without wondering why it was open. Richie, the last one to get in, slammed the doors quickly.

“–ndered what you’d gain from…..this?”

“O-oh, uh, hello, s-sorry to interrupt, it’s j-just that…”

“We were being chased by those assholes in the car”

“Beep Beep Richie”

“Well, the shop doesn’t officially open until next Saturday. But (Y/N) show Richie, Eddie and Beverly the shop while I show Stanley, Ben, Mike, and Bill around as well,” (Y/B/N) announced clasping his hands together. I had a feeling he was going to do something.

“How did you..?”

“Your book bags have tags on them,” I said.

All of them simultaneously looked and found the tags with their names on them. Pulling a deck of cards out of his pocket, he bent them upwards and let the cards spill into the air around him. When they settled, (Y/B/N) was nowhere to be seen. 

“Where’d he go?”

“He’s in the other room,” I replied. Poking his head from the other room (Y/B/N) dejected murmured, “You didn’t have to ruin my fun (Y/N)”.

We had all regrouped after they gave us a tour of the shop. It was bigger on the inside. While (Y/N) and (Y/B/N) were speaking, I hadn’t realized that I had been silently staring at her. Everyone else had noticed, and they took amusement in my silent staring. Under the light of the metal lamps with colored glass she looked alluring. I could see her clearly, and even if I couldn’t, she would have been the most beautiful blur. Not to mention the fact that she was incredibly smart, and moved with grace found in performers and dancers. 

“She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” muttered Stan, who walked to my side. He was smirking, proceeding to look at (Y/N). I scowled, turning my head sharply to look at Stan.

“(Y/N) while they are still here, flip the last two cards and answer the question,” (Y/N/B) exclaimed.

She flipped the two cards simultaneously and said, looking at all of us,

“Both Minor Arcana, Ace of Cups and Two of Cups. Beginnings, Partnerships, and Love” 

To find out about the tarot spread and to find the other meanings on the Tarot card meanings of Major and Minor Arcana

Part 2, hopefully will be written and posted soon! Also should I make this into a series?

[disappointingyet]

The Irishman (I Heard You Paint Houses)

Director Martin Scorsese Stars Robert De Niro, Al Pacino, Joe Pesci, Stephen Graham USA 2019 Language English, a little Italian (with English subtitles) 3hrs 29mins (!) Colour

No one gets out of here alive

There were a number of reasons why I was wary of this movie. In no particular order: 

a) It’s three and a half bloody hours long! 

b) The gangster genre has become such an overworn groove, an ever-wearier ritual.

c) And a prime example of that was Martin Scorsese’s most recent gangster picture, The Departed, which I think is tired and mediocre even without taking into account how pisspoor it is in comparison to Infernal Affairs, the Hong Kong trilogy from which it was hamfistedly adapted. 

d) The stills released showing the horrible Polar Express-looking FX used to make Robert De Niro look younger. 

e) De Niro even without the computer-tweaking: I’ve leant increasingly towards the notion that not only has he been terrible for years, but maybe that badness extends all the way through his career. Sure, he’s been in some terrific films, but apart from say, Raging Bull, King Of Comedy and Midnight Run, was he actually an asset to those films, or was it more than he just didn’t manage to ruin them?

f) And beyond Bob, I wasn’t sold on the idea of gathering Marty’s gang – Harvey and Joe – together, plus adding Al Pacino to the mix for the full 1970s Method madness.

The film opens with a classic bit of Scorsese floating camera through a corridor. But crucially we’re not in a New York nightspot, we’re in a care home. We’re here to meet Frank Sheeran (Robert De Niro), former truck driver, union official and ‘house painter’ or hitman for the Italian mob, despite – as his nickname suggests – his lack of Sicilian heritage (at least he’s still a Catholic, though). Sheeran was a real man, as were most of the people we see in the film, and this is his almost certainly unreliable account of events.

We get at least two layers of interwoven flashback: one starting with how Sheeran first met Pennsylvania boss Russell Bufalino (Joe Pesci) and from there his deepening involvement in organised crime. The second, which we come back to repeatedly, is a long drive to Detroit in the 1970s taken by Frank, Russell and their wives. It’s that first strand that has De Niro’s face tweaked by CGI: it’s every bit as awful as the first pictures suggested. It never looks remotely like any human being ever – and it also fails in its task of making De Niro look young enough to play the character. He’s meant to be in his thirties at this point, and people refer to him as ‘kid’ but his semi-animated face seems south of 50 at best. What’s been done to others in the film is less drastic, and so works better in that you don’t notice so much, although they all look like old men rather than the middle-age ones they are meant to be playing.

Along the way, Sheeran becomes the liaison between the mob and Jimmy Hoffa (Al Pacino), the infamous union boss who – as the film correctly informs us – was a huge figure in American public life from the 1950s through to the ’70s. Although a violent man and a largely unrepentant killer, Sheeran is instinctively loyal, and struggles with his need to be dutiful to Hoffa and his Italian mentors, who often have conflicting interests. 

I’m guessing the reason Scorsese insisted on the gargantuan running time is to get in the detail: all the names – so many names – and all the talking – so much talking, often that the thing in which two characters bounce back the same phrases to each other multiple times (something like – this is a paraphrase: ’I’m saying, “It’s what it is’/‘It’s what it is?’/‘That’s what they told me, ‘It’s what it is’/‘I can’t believe you’re telling me “It’s what it is”’).

The Irishman is a downbeat movie. All though it’s told first-person style, like both GoodFellas and its many imitators, what it is pointedly missing is the now familiar moment-of-glory section, when our anti-hero has too much cash to know what to do with. Sheeran’s triumphs are much more low-key: about being able to sit at the same table as the big boys, essentially – things that are clearly meaningful to him but not designed to seduce the audience in the way that certain parts of GoodFellas were. This is not a glamorous film. 

(Sheeran, for instance, tells us about his method for hits: he puts a lot of thought and preparation into it, but there’s none of the stealth or elegance implied in Le Samourai or Ghost Dog or Killing Eve – it’s all about being quick and making sure you chuck the gun in the river).

Mortality looms large: minor characters are introduced with captions that tell us the details and date of their deaths. These are often violent, but not always – cancer will get you just as surely (and more painfully) as two bullets in the back of the head. What awaits the survivors, the film suggests, is death later on when the world you knew and understood has disappeared. 

In some ways, the performance that holds the film together is Joe Pesci’s. He’s been mostly retired for a while – and the volcanic energy I associate with him has disappeared. He’s so quiet here, and that’s great. They’re all low-key – Bob, too, and Harvey Keitel (who only has a few lines), apart from Al. Pacino* is in full shouty mode as Hoffa, which is effective, if not how Hoffa actually expressed himself. A mention too of Ray Romano, who a) really is like the guy he plays, Bill Bufalino (there’s an interview online) and b) I should really get over the fact that he’s a reliable character actor and stopped blaming him for how atrocious his sitcom was.

The Irishman is unnecessarily long as movie. That won’t matter to most people who see it, because they will be watching on Netflix and will be able to break it into more digestible chunks, or at least have a running supply of snacks – when I was watching it I spent a fair amount of time thinking about what I was going to have for dinner and where I was going to buy ingredients on the way home. And the computer de-aging is laughable. 

But Scorsese bringing in the old guys for one final, mournful look at the history of organised crime and the history of the US in the second half of the 20th century? All that turns out to be surprisingly worthwhile – as with the Wolf Of Wall Street, I was sceptical about what Scorsese was up to, and as with that film, I’m happy to have been wrong. 

*Pacino (b1940) and Stephen Graham** (b1973) play long-time rivals more or less the same age as each other.

**The presence of Graham and De Niro in the same gangster film reminds me of how much better – in my opinion, obv – Graham’s Al Capone in Boardwalk Empire is to De Niro’s in The Untouchables. 

[timey-wimey-shifter]

First shiftblr tag! Thank you Juniper!! 🥺

Favourite Method: Julia method (as a sleep method) or pillow method when I’m feeling lazy

Favourite Affirmation: “I am in my desired reality”

DR(s) you’re currently shifting to/focusing on: Series 10 of Doctor Who, Spider-Verse (with MCU Peter), and a very niche one with the characters from Doctor Who in a Raven Cycle setting (cause the vibes in that book are ✨amazing✨)

Pick a DR to focus on for the next questions, or not! Currently putting most of my energy into the Doctor Who/Raven Cycle AU so we’ll do that one (basically if doctor who was an YA urban fantasy with dark academia undertones)

DR name: My CR name, but I go by my last name

DRself physical feature that you like:

flat chest my hair has a little curl to it which is nice bc my CR hair is soooooo straight

Song that reminds you of your DR: Anything by Angus and Julia Stone (not sure why, the vibes just work) but specifically A Heatbreak because I’ve scripted it to play when I shift

DR S/O, friend or family member (or all 3!): I’m best friends with Amy, Rose, Martha, Bill and Clara (we’re kind of a paranormal investigation team). I haven’t scripted an S/O yet, but currently the idea of being Clara’s datemate sounds pretty cute! I still need to script my family but I know my parents are rich so I can afford to go on wild adventures and stuff

DR power/special skills: Needs more thought, but maybe like mild clairvoyance? idk the powers in the Raven Cycle are wild, I could take things out of my dreams or be part of a sentient forest if I wanted...

DR faceclaim: Me with a few tweaks

DR fun fact: In my DR, the Doctor is a cosmic entity/cryptid that shows up in myths and legend the world over. We’re trying to find the Doctor (similar to how the gang are hunting for Glendower — a sleeping king, similar to King Arthur — in the Raven Cycle.)

Introduce yourself as your DRself: “Oh Hi, I’m [last name]! I’m a sixth former here at Gallifrey Academy. I’m currently looking into some wierd myths about the school. It’s kind of hard to explain, what do you know about Welsh kings eldritch physicians..?”

And let’s tag some lovely people...

@girl-between-worlds @shifting-dayss @shifting-kai

(Sorry if you’ve already done this/been tagged, and obviously no pressure!)

Shiftblr Tag Game

Ok even though I have a lot of other things to do, here’s a Shiftblr tag game because why not! It’s no pressure, tag anyone you want and do it even if you aren’t tagged, and answer any questions you want, whether it be all of 2! 

Favorite method: my own method! I get into a sleepy/meditative state, and then affirm/listen to 6hZ Theta waves:)

Favorite affirmation: “I am in my desired reality”

DR(s) you’re currently shifting to/focusing on: MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe), TMR (The Maze Runner), Community (the show, don’t judge me LMAO)

Pick a DR to focus on for the next questions, or not! Mine is the MCU:

DR name: Xo Stark, AKA [redacted] Andarmas Alcazar [redacted] Rasputinovia Turneschkyov [redacted] Stark [redacted] (I know it’s crazy and crazy long but in my DR context it makes sense because I’m rlly just focusing on my CR ethnic background LMAO)

DRself physical feature that you like: When I use my powers, my eyes glow yellow!

Song that reminds you of your DR: Maneater by Nelly Furtado

DR S/O, friend, or family member (or all 3!): My adoptive parents, Tony Stark and Pepper Potts!

DR power/special skills: I have a lot of powers (I’m overpowered oops), which include psionic energy manipulation, audiokinesis, and reality manipulation!

DR faceclaim: Alexa Demie, Rowan Blanchard, Malina Weissman, or me lol

DR fun fact: I haven’t finished my script because it’s like 300 pages in my head…also there’s a whole WandaVision AU oop-

Introduce yourself as your DRself: Hi, I’m Xo Stark, or whatever you wanna call me, and to most of the world, I’m known as Sol, some weird Avenger who looks like the sun, thus my name. 

Tagging some random mutuals/cool Shiftblr ppl (my tagging is really glitchy so I’m sorry if I didn’t tag you here!): @shifty-bandit @lil-shifting-shit @shifting-lark @shifting-inspos @romeshifting @shiftingshiftingshifting

[justgotham]

This Monday, Fox’s pre-Batman drama series “Gotham” wraps its winter run with the full, ferocious return of Jerome. Now, fans of the show are undoubtedly excited about the development, but casual comic book types are likely asking a simple question. “Who the Hell is Jerome?”

This is what you’d call a problem.

For three years, “Gotham” has worked hard to prevent itself from committing to any one portrayal of the Joker – the Dark Knight’s indisputable arch nemesis and perhaps the fan favorite supervillain of all time. But over the past two seasons, the show has also elevated recurring guest star Cameron Monaghan’s unhinged, circus-born serial killer Jerome Valeska to a major foe. With pasty-white skin, an ear-to-ear grin and a cackle that could curdle blood, Jerome has been one of the most memorable additions to a show that’s often in desperate need of crowd-pleasing moments.

So why not just call him the Joker? Despite “Gotham’s” insistence that it’s entire run will be an origin story for the Batman’s world, there are plenty of reasons that this one particular piece be put in place now. Below, CBR runs down six reasons why turning Jerome into the purple-suited Clown Prince of Crime will make the character and the TV show stronger.

Joker’s Nonexistent Past Is Hardly Canon

It can be argued that there’s never been a definitive origin story for who the Joker was before he gained his repulsive rictus. But don’t believe people who tell you that the villain has never had or should never have an origin tale. It’s not just that “Detective Comics” #168’s legendary story “The Man Behind The Red Hood!” gave us the most accepted version of Joker’s “thrown in a vat of acid by Batman” origin (written by co-creator Bill Finger, no less). Over the years, dozens of comic creators have filled in bits of Joker’s backstory, from Alan Moore to J. Michael Straczynski, though they’ve often left specific details vague.

Only since Christopher Nolan’s film “The Dark Knight” have people embraced the idea of a Joker who aggressively denies any true past as canonical. This may have been inspired by his initial, origin-less appearances, but back then, such things simply weren’t stated — like most comic villains of the era. So anyone who claims that Jerome’s origin of murdering his mother before going kill-crazy breaks some kind of rule established by the villain’s creators is missing a whole lot.

More importantly, film and TV versions of the character have been happy to create the character’s full backstory when it suits them – most famously the “mobster who murdered Bruce Wayne’s parents” angle in Tim Burton’s classic 1989 “Batman” movie. And stories like that – while usually much more widely seen than any comic book – have done little to blunt the impact of the Joker as a character all his own. Nobody today expects that making Jerome the Joker full-on would somehow taint the character or irrevocably alter how he’s portrayed in the comics.

Every Other Faux-Joker On “Gotham” Has Failed

Aside from the “making Jerome the Joker wouldn’t really hurt the character” case, there are plenty of great reasons why making this happen is a positive thing. First and foremost is the fact that ever other attempt “Gotham” has made at channeling the Ace of Knaves has fallen way flat.

Longtime viewers of the show will recall that in its early episodes, “Gotham” peppered in “potential Jokers” all over the place from failing comedians to frustrated family men. It was such an awkward, story-killing bit of business that the producers soon dropped it all together from their creative arsenal. Later, when the series attempted to revive a piece of Joker canon with the Scott Snyder/Greg Capullo-inspired Red Hood gang, the resulting mask mobsters were completely devoid of personality. Recent attempts to revive the Red Hood angle have fared no better.

Worst of all, since Jerome landed on the show and totally stole the scene from nearly every other plotline, the writers’ initial premise that his (since overturned) death would inspire mass insanity across the city has been a dropped ball. Even when they picked that idea back up as a way to reintroduce Jerome, the story pretty much went out of its way to show how no one would ever be as good as him.

So if the acid-squirting flower fits this guy so well, why not let him wear it?

Harley Quinn’s Impending Intro Is Flawless Timing

The producers of “Gotham” have made it no secret that they’ll be introducing their version of DC’s most popular female character later this season (sorry, Diana, but you know that Truth is Truth). But with some version of Harley Quinn in the offing, the big question becomes, what is there even worth doing with this character before there’s a Joker on the scene? In almost every major Harley story of all-time, the character is played as mild-mannered public servant until Joker unleashes the crazy within her. If “Gotham’s” past is any indication, their solution could be something as bland as a forgettable psychiatrist who occasionally says things like, “I can’t wear red lipstick…that’d be crazy!”

But putting Harley center stage right when Jerome steps into the real Joker role not only solves these problems, it opens up some scary good story directions. Imagine a season of the show where fans get to see the famous Harley origin story “Mad Love” writ large – a mash-up of “Natural Born Killers” and Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan movie where Jim Gordon and company are hopelessly outmatched? It leans into “Gotham’s” very best tendency for absurd action (and over-acting) rather than more lame attempts at making this madcap world feel “real” (whatever that means).

The Show Is At Its Best When It Goes Full Comic Book

Cementing the argument for Jerome as Joker is the fact that “Gotham” only really connects with the wider fandom when it fully embraces comic book identities. Remember when Ed Nygma was a nerdy annoyance who just said the word “Riddle” three times in a scene before being totally forgotten? That all ended when he finally was given motivation to strike back at Jim Gordon and went all-in planting Riddler-inspired clues and bombs across the city. Since then, the villain has been one of the most enjoyable members of the show’s ensemble.

And it’s not an accident that Oswald Cobblepot has remained both the most beloved member of the show’s cast at the same time as he’s been the only character graced with his comic book alter ego of the Penguin. From his crafty takeover of Gotham’s mayoralty to the way he’s weaseled through a crime world that considers him an outsider, this Oswald is virtually indistinguishable form his four-color counterpart. (Okay, maybe add 60 pounds, but otherwise…)

When you compare these fully fledged supervillain turns to the numerous also-rans in “Gotham’s” history (Balloonman, that awful Wall Street reinvention of Black Mask, the dead end Scarecrow story), it’s clear that the show’s creators find more fun to be had when tweaking comic book character’s identities – not just teasing them. At this point, Jerome doesn’t have to be quite the dapper danger we think of when we see the classic Joker. But giving him a name and a “first draft” version of the purple costume would feel earned after so much pussyfooting.

The Supervillain’s Influence Would Cement The Need For Batman

From the first episode of “Gotham,” the show has been caught in a massive Catch-22 scenario. If the series main plot is ostensibly about Jim Gordon and company’s attempts to be white knights in a city full of black-hearted crooks, how could it possibly end in a satisfying manner? On the one hand, Jim fails, and the entire show is a tragic waste of the audience’s time. On the other hand, if Gordon succeeds there’s actually no reason for Bruce to become Batman.

Watching the Joker fully rise up as a new kind of criminal threat alters this landscape in a way that truly prepares viewers for the birth of the Dark Knight. If Jerome takes charge in turning the show’s drab mobsters into insane supervillains, then Jim Gordon totally realigning the GCPD into a fighting force for good still comes up short without totally undercutting its ultimate redemption arc. Plus, the young Bruce Wayne will be given sufficient motivation for taking his quest for justice outside the law (right now, he’s got a pretty good example of police work being a righteous path in Jim). It’s a win-win for the show’s ultimate endgame.

This Show Needs the Lift That Joker Could Provide

Finally, “Gotham” needs to make Jerome the Joker because it needs to finally give people a reason to care about it. The Fox network is traditionally pretty shifty on supporting genre entertainment over the long haul, and while this DC series has fared better than the average “Dollhouse” due to its comic book roots, the show has slipped in the ratings compared to the rock-solid (and admittedly more forgiving) numbers its CW counterparts pull. With an impending “X-Men” TV series that Fox will own a bigger part of in the works, there’s no reason for the network to support the Batman’s world over many more seasons unless it delivers something big for ratings and buzz.

Plastering a fully-fledged Joker on the side of a bus at San Diego Comic-Con might seem like a shameless cash grab (because it would be!), but in the cold hard facts of the crowded superhero TV marketplace, it’s also a no-brainer.

Plus, for all the reasons explored above, adding the Joker to the show full time will be a major creative boon as well, and “Gotham” needs that more than any other show in years. While the series has undoubtedly improved from its absolutely wretched first season, it’s never gotten more than mediocre in quality. Jerome as the Joker provides the wild energy that the series has always flirted with and a marketing shot in the arm that could let this series go down as a worthy piece of Batman storytelling.

[oumakokichi]

Hi again. So for my question, can you place the NDRV3 characters based on Celesgami's comparison labels and list the seasons on why they would fit there please? You can also alter the labels for the characters to fit if you need to.

Of course I can! For anyone wondering, the post in question with @celesgami‘s labels can be found here!

In the interest of keeping this post from getting way too long, I probably won’t post actual pictures alongside the labels, and there might be some that don’t necessarily fit but have to kind of be tweaked or adjusted in order the ndrv3 cast to fit. Since ndrv3 is largely a subversion on the first two games, it makes sense–but I’ll still do my best!

Okay, so let’s do this:

The Ahoge: SaiharaObviously Kaede and Kiibo both are potential fits too, but in the spirit of going with “the protagonist we actually play as,” and as Saihara’s ahoge was literally so big and so stupidly pointy and adorable in the VR world in Chapter 4 that I actually kept commenting on it when I was watching, I’m going with him.

The Tech Princess: MiuNot exactly most people’s first pick, I know. She’s not similar personality-wise to either Chihiro or Nanami. But as she’s the only character with a technologically-inclined talent and she definitely contributes quite a lot with said talent, she’s the only one who fits.

The “Unpopular with the Fandom Because I’m Not Conventionally Attractive”: RyoumaObviously because Ryouma’s design was intentionally a throwback to designs like Yamada and Teruteru, he fits here. But he’s also a subversion, partly because unlike those two he’s neither perverted nor gross to the other characters, and partly because he’s actually quite popular with the fandom, from what I’ve seen. Ryouma fans are really dedicated and lovely, actually. But the implication is still that “he won’t be as popular as he would if he were conventionally attractive,” and that’s true.

The “Precious Angels Who Did Not Deserve to Die”: KiiboMy instinct is to actually put Tenko here, but Tenko is the only character who fits the bill for another category later on, and I’m better off saying that it’s Kiibo instead. Really, there’s plenty of characters who could fit this one (and plenty who couldn’t).

The Big-Hearted Muscle: GontaGoes without saying. His size and stature and kind heart are all probably very deliberate references to characters like Sakura and Nidai. Damn Chapter 4 in every game.

The “Food????? Food. Food.”: AngieIncredibly enough, there was not a single ndrv3 character who actually fit for this trope. The food jokes were at a minimum in the entire game beyond maybe Kirumi’s ability to cook any breakfast anyone could possibly want. But I’m putting Angie here because if you replace “food” with “god,” the one-trackness of her interests is pretty much the same. She’s also somewhat similar physically to Aoi and Akane, so I feel like she’s literally the only one I can put for this.

The Tragic Past and Hella Self-Esteem Issues: TsumugiFits the bill not only for her physical similarities to Fukawa in particular, but also because it’s ironic that her self-esteem issues in particular are actually subversions in many ways. She’s also tragic specifically because her inability to feel or distinguish anything at all without throwing herself headlong into fiction and death means she lost her ability to tell what was real or genuine around her at some point.

The Misunderstood Gang Leader: OumaHilariously enough, and having looked at all the other options, I really do think this is Ouma’s best fit. His gang might be literally a group of prankster clowns and his being misunderstood might be almost entirely self-inflicted, but it still fits. It also is perhaps the only thing that somewhat goes with his title.

The Solitary Protective One: MakiInterestingly enough, while Maki fits both as being solitary and protective of the people she cares about, she’s also a subversion in some regards. Really, she’s much closer to a Peko than a Kirigiri, and it’s important to note that her desire to protect the people she cares about actually doesn’t keep her from accidentally hurting them sometimes.

The Gothic Princess: KirumiI changed the title here just because I’m personally not really fond of the word “bitch,” really. But Kirumi fits this one pretty spot-on, and wound up being much more Celes-like than I ever thought possible. Just…a smarter Celes.

The Rich Pretty Princess: KaedeAs much as I don’t like putting Kaede here because I feel like it reduces her character, it’s true that if this is something based on appearance and perception by the rest of the cast, she’s really the only one who could really fit. And there was also a line from one of Tsumugi’s FTEs where she mentioned cosplaying or dressing up as a princess, so it’s clear that she’s regarded as “pretty” and “successful” by the rest of the group.

The Magical Weirdo: HimikoMuch more of a Gundam than a Hagakure, definitely. In keeping up with the spirit of being super chuunibyou, she also uses super outdated Japanese and refuses to admit that her talent isn’t actually linked to sorcery or witchcraft.

The “Boys Are Nerds Anyway”: TenkoSee, this is what I meant about only Tenko fitting the bill for this. Like Mahiru, of course, she’s perfectly friendly to boys as long as they’re not being ridiculously aggressive or violent or assholes in general.

The Hot Useless Dork King: MomotaI’m actually stumped here because Momota is a dork but I wouldn’t call him hot or useless by any means. Then again, I also don’t really understand why Souda or Leon are considered hot in this category, so I guess it’s just my own personal lack of understanding. Anyway, Momota’s really, really not useless, but it’s true that his slow uptake or “tell ‘em Shuuichi”s are played for comic relief a lot, and that he goofs off in training while Maki and Saihara are taking it seriously.

The COULD U FUCKIN NOT: KorekiyoThis one…really, really goes without saying.

The Walking Spoiler: AmamiThere aren’t really any characters whose sheer existences or appearance constitutes a spoiler in ndrv3 (unless you count Tsumugi’s mastermind sprites, but I don’t count her as a character since she does stay present for the entire game), so Amami only fits here in the sense of “he knew way more information than many of the other characters.” In a sense, he could actually have “spoiled” them all about what was going on, but was killed off before he could do so, much like Mukuro.

The Byakuya Togami: TogamiNdrv3 is our first major DR game without Togami in it at all (beyond existing as a fictional character, I guess). Therefore only the real Togami counts. Possible runners-up still include Maki again (because of the way in which she isolated herself from the group in the first few chapters), or Momota, just because, again, he actually literally says “tell ‘em Shuuichi” plenty of times.

Phew, this was really fun! I’m aware that not all my choices fit the bill perfectly or that plenty of these are reducing very complex characters down to tropes, but that was kind of the point of the thing, so I ran with it the best I could. I hope my choices make sense for the most part!

[dani-camp]

overall review of season 1 of panic on amazon prime. i haven't read the book (though i soon plan to), so i'm not sure how much of what i love about panic is from the book or show but seeing as how lauren oliver wrote both the book and the screenplay, we can assume a good majority of it came from her and i'd like to give credit to her for that.

that being said, i think the whole concept of panic could've been so much more thematic and deeper with just a different villain. word vomit below.

THE THEMES, VILLAINS, AND ENDING

all small towns are the same. filled with secrets and scandals that everyone finds out eventually, crowded, seemingly inescapable. removed from the reality and sanity of the wider more diverse world. that's what we know from all shows set in small towns.

carp, texas is a character. any good show about small towns should recognize that that town must be a character, and when the small town comes with a deadly game, it makes sense for the town to be an ominous villain.

i wish this had been a more consistent thing throughout the show. after more than a year of lockdown, financial complications, continuous conflict between younger and older generations, upper and working classes, and politicians and constituents, it would've made sense to me for the story to align all of those villainous stories together. panic (the game), is apparently something that has gone on at least as long as all of the locals can recall. it doesn't make sense that the parents of the kids, or the cops on the force would be clueless about how the game works if they were once players and judges themselves. especially since the oldest character on the show, anne, seemed to know enough about it that she didn't even have any questions. how could this game survive in a town full of players and spectators? how is it still a mystery? there's not much keeping others' mouths closed if they're not concerned with playing and spectating privileges anymore.

personally, i would've loved if the judges-slash-villains were like the "elders" of the town a la the secret circle. i would've loved for anne to be the benevolent mastermind of the whole thing, believing in keeping the tradition alive and testing the wills of these kids before they go off into the rest of the world. she's already shown to be a risk-taker, a believer in respecting the danger and courage of things. the sheriff could still be in on it and running the numbers, which he keeps from the other judges, and keeps the cops from catching on or stopping it while playing the grieving dad for all of them. one is spurlock, who pretends to be a territorial nutcase every year while knowing the contestants are crawling all around his property and grabbing whatever innocuous trinket he's planted around. one's a teacher at the high school, who can identify which theatrical charismatic students would make good emcees, which sneaky secret-genius students could be spies for them, etc.

maybe anne and melanie cortez are friends. maybe when melanie reveals that jimmy intentionally threw the game and killed himself due to cortez' influence, anne could sick the tiger on him personally (not that i endorse the mistreatment of wild animals ofc). heather getting the money would make more sense when ray and dodge also really needed it. where the money even comes from would make sense. how the game survives would make sense. maybe that's even more cliche than the hiram lodge expy. but at least it would've been a more cohesive story.

and imo, panic (the game) and the character studies were the best parts of the show. it didn't need the drug subplots, or the gambling red herrings, or constant mystery about who was crazy, who was a liar, and who was just desperate. it could've just been a show about teenagers trying to get ahead in a world that has told them they are powerless by literally risking everything they have (their futures, their bodies, their lives, their cars, their phones). teenagers don't have a lot. and $50,000 could be life-changing and life-saving for all of them in a world the renders you financially dependent on your parents, who hit you (bishop), lock you up (ray), steal from you (heather), control you (natalie), or manipulate you (dodge) for years and years and years after you're told you're an adult only in name. and this is only highlighted by the fact that most of the kids only have one parent or guardian to begin with.

like i said in a post before, the actual villain and the actual show ending kind of just felt like they were throwing conflict after conflict on the screen, pinned it on a character that the audience already didn't like, killed him, and then gave all the characters what they wanted anyways. it felt like hiram and riverdale and how he has a hand in politics, business, drugs, local gangs, and the mafia. and also a bad father and husband. and is also willing to kill teenagers and children for the lulz. cause he had a giant boner to pay off some debts? if you say so.

if what i read in the book is correct, this ending is not remotely in the book and was probably added to the show to give a surprise to people that already read the book. or just to beef it up. i think they could've come up with something better and more original, personally.

KUDOS

i love that it's set in texas. though the southern accents come and go with much struggle, i love that they mention the rodeo and take it seriously. i love that the cops wear cowboy hats. i love that they acknowledge the nature around the setting through all the farms and animals and insects. i love that there's a lot of anxiety around pay, employment, drugs, and reputation without completely losing the charm and beauty of the surroundings. being from a small town in south carolina, it really felt so familiar.

i loved the casting for heather, she was a very natural actress even though she always had me wondering what other wavy-haired blonde actress she was reminding me of (the answers were jessica rothe, kathryn newton, or angourie rice, by the way). jessica sula always kills it, and did a good job of not playing a character that gets killed off this time. the acting and characterization for dodge was good, though we lost his mysterious-spartan-ambitious bits at times and then he was just another white boy plotting and swinging at people. moira kelly is always great, but given very little to do. shame.

i loved the writing of the relationship between heather and her mom. i thought it was on point with french and his mom on the oa. reminded me quite a bit of jlaw's character and her mom in poker house. i see from a brief summary of the book that this was not heather's first motivation for joining the game in the book and kudos to them for fixing that. it looks like they tweaked dodge's goal from killing ray to hurt luke to instead be to arrest luke, which works so much better with dodge's character imo.

i loved some of the smaller characters and details. i loved loved loved both diggins and summer and the idea that these two were handpicked just to be emcees--maybe because i was such an insufferable talkative teacher's pet/go-getter/theatre kid that i know i probably would've been tapped for it had i grown up in carp. super small detail but i love how they just casually mention that sarah is ray and luke's half-sister. maybe because i was the kid with the huge complicated family in a small town and i know everyone would often look at me and my siblings and cousins and ask others how we were related. i loved that natalie was allowed to be really nasty and still a sympathetic character. i loved troy. you really do have to be a badass to be androgynous in a small town. i loved that they showed brief glances of their home life. i loved drew and how he was still involved even though he wasn't competing.

GRIEVANCES

on the other hand, some characters were just really unnecessary. why did adam and troy ever get storylines? why were natalie's dad and christine given so much to do when a lot of it was telling us things we already knew? i'm not sure why dayna had (very much well-deserved) angst about her family's ableism when there was no follow-up to it. why were there scenes between heather's mom's abusive sort-of boyfriend and ray's older brother? why did the photographer have multiple scenes? we barely know them!! all these scraggly white men look alike!! why were leela and hunt multi-scene characters? it was so quick and irrelevant that i didn't even get the actual explanation, but bishop and natalie were judges for some reason? and sarah found the money? heather made up stories and was teased to be a writer? there was an underground drug den and a bunker under spurlock's house? abby aborted a baby? some kid pulled a gambit and died on the spurlock farm? because of the game or because of drugs? and there were several mentions that one character used to date another character in the past, that one character had this occupation or this habit, and i honestly couldn't tell you why they wasted script paper on it, much less actual production and air time. feel free to let me know if there was more plot relevance to these things that i'm just missing, cause that's entirely possible.

also... why was little bill? he was only around to freak heather out, tell us that anne's nice, and remind everybody that hey, people in small towns do drugs!!! and they die from it!! and when he and/or his body are burned alive in a house all the main characters got out of, it's mentioned a couple times and then never again. and there's already plenty of other characters whose storylines and development completely revolve around drugs and anne being nice to them. so why. honestly, i found it kind of offensive and potentially racist, but i don't think it's my place to talk on it so i'm gonna take cues from others on that matter.

next, ray. i'm just gonna say it. the casting was not good there. ray nicholson acted the role well, don't get me wrong. but he looks at least a decade older than a high school senior. it was off-putting. it made the heather x ray scenes super uncomfortable, so much so that i can't ship them even though i truly love a good girl/bad boy, enemies to lovers, belligerent sexual tension ladykiller in love type of thing. but i just couldn't like ray. he could not appear to be some kind of impulsive manchild to me when he instead came off as an overgrown bully taking advantage of barely-legal girls and bullying high-schoolers and taking their money when he should be working a full-time job as a mechanic or something. yuck yuck yuck. and even if i can see the appeal of their relationship to the narrative, not sure why heather chose him over bishop other than he wasn't going off to college (even though I figured heather was going to college since she got the money?)

the pacing was really weird. i think they were trying too hard to end every episode on a cliffhanger or something, because it absolutely butchered the tension of every scene it happened in. they constantly revealed really big things off-screen while keeping the filler fluff i mentioned above on-screen.

can we, as a society, stop making cop characters anything but vague villains who get in the way? we really didn't need to know anything about their personal lives. like, at all.

also, why did cortez call his wife "caramel" in the first scene with her? had me confused af. thinking caramel was a cat i missed or if he was shaming her for eating candy or if she was drinking caramel-flavored wine or something. what kind of pet name is caramel? what the fuck.

CONCLUSION

honestly, between panic and the wilds, i think amazon prime could really benefit from bringing on some writing consultants or test audiences to prevent this kind of incohesive and inconsistent writing from happening in the future. it seems to be continuously holding back a great story from being an epic one.

that is all to say that only something i love a lot can inspire this many thoughts about it, and now that i've finished all ten episodes and am about to start the book, i will be diving straight into the fandom, thank you.

[seajudge70-blog]

Magical Wizarding World Pics & A Little Life Rambling

Well helloooo, you. I have a pile of pretty Potter pictures here, plus a desire to sit and chat. Cool?

   Cool.

I should mention I've decided not to stress (or at least TRY not to) over the fact that Epbot is basically becoming a Harry Potter Christmas blog this month. This is brave, this is mildly obsessive...THIS IS ME.

 I promise after the Hufflepuff party and next month's fabulous Christmas con and then the Festival of Trees and everything I'll get back to other fandom things. Probably. [Cut to me running madly through twinkle lights yelling "I'M NEVER GOING BACK YOU CAN'T MAKE MEEEEE!!"]

Ahem.

Oh hey look, my favorite Alley:

I took this a few weeks ago before all the pretty garlands went up, so it's much sparklier now.

I love looking for new angles; pretty sure you could blindly point your camera in any direction in the Wizarding World and find something beautiful:

Look at that crest and plaster work. LOOK AT IT.

If you stand to the right side of the steps during Celestina's show, you can get some lovely crowd-free shots:

I can't wait to see her Holiday Spell show again. Eeeee!

Goblin armor is best armor.

(The tiny suit is the one that assembles itself when you wave your wand, so you have to time this shot just right.)

Ever notice the corbels inside the Forbidden Journey gift shop?

I need to find a place for one of these in our house. And then, you know, steal and/or make one. 

(Picturing myself standing guard while John goes at one of these with a chisel is brightening my afternoon. Just sayin'.)

I played with a lot of window reflections, with limited success:

Here's my favorite:

This is looking out from Wiseacres, through that fabulous crystal ball.

And the hardest window of all to photograph: the mandrake over in Hogsmeade:

Honestly, this is the best I've ever managed, so I'm kind of proud!

Ohh hey, big news if you're a park geek like me: have you seen the new store?

Globus Mundi is the Wizarding travel agency, complete with a window of pamphlets that are pure gold to read through:

(click to embiggen)

From my IG Story:

I got my first look inside during Dressed To The 9 3/4s last weekend. It is a TINY shop - mostly selling Hogwarts Express merch - but so well themed:

Look up to the ceiling in the entryway for a fun surprise: 

 Brooms built for 4!

A whole wall of clocks:

Obviously I am completely and unabashedly in love with this globe:

I have a mighty need, people. A MIGHTY ONE.

There was a big stir a few weeks ago when the first ever Fantastic Beasts merch finally popped up in Wizarding World:

Baby Nifflers!

And if you haven't seen the new Fantastic Beasts wands, go Google them for a treat. (They're impossible to photograph; I gave up.) So much Art Deco deliciousness, and Dumbledore's is the stuff of dreams.

And that's just the M!

Not new, I just really love this sparkly phoenix shirt:

Every time I'm in Diagon Alley I try to decide which hanging sign I want to make first. Every time I pick a different sign.

This is the current contender. Thoughts?

Speaking of signs, I think these are both new? It's impressive to me that Universal keeps adding new little tweaks - or maybe I've just never noticed them before:

If you haven't been in a while, the Cauldron Cakes look completely different now:

Much cuter than the old style, though it still bugs the purist in me that knows the Cauldron Cakes in the books were stackable, and probably so named because they were made in or on a cauldron. (Which is why our version is like this.)

::pushes up Nerd Glasses::

::to look down them at you::

Anyone tried these pumpkin pasties? They look like cherry turnovers, but I'm too cheap to buy one and see:

Over to Hogsmeade again:

This clock tower - and the owl inside - is my favorite.

A few garland shots from last weekend:

And another new window display!

Go, Universal!

Not new, but always pretty:

For my fellow Christmas geeks: there's a HUGE NEW ROOM of Hogwarts Christmas merch in the Port of Christmas shop at the entrance to Islands of Adventure. This is the only place to find all the Potter Christmas stuff, and the only shop I've found in either park that carries the House stockings and garland. So be sure to stop here to drool:

They've themed out the whole place beautifully - look at those alcoves up top! And the wrapped broom!

 There are a few new ornaments this year, these two are my favorites:

This is a heavy real metal, and super sparkly.

Also heavy metal (but with less guitars):

Hnnnng. The other Houses are almost as lovely, too! Almost. ;)

If you haven't seen any of the Hogwarts castle projection shows, put it on your list. I finally caught the House showcase one, which is short, but breath-taking:

That's straight off my phone, no edits! I'm sure the Christmas one will start again soon, but I'd love to see them incorporate these House Pride sections into it for a little extra magic. 

Well gang, I've rambled on enough, and John is out in the garage wheezing (his cough is back, noooo) and feverishly working on our next big party build, so I better get back in there.

Just a closing thought, though, since I've been reflecting on this the past few days: 

I don't think it's a surprise to anyone here that getting older sucks sometimes. There are more things that hurt, more bills, more things to worry about - and the gnawing fear that maybe you've missed out on something, maybe it's too late.

On the flip side, the older you get, the more you realize the things that matter, and the more you learn to grab on to the happy in front of you, and not let go.

About ten years ago I developed a panic disorder literally overnight, and I've spent the last decade skidding down this path of fear, looking for diagnoses, clinging to hope, and mourning the loss of my life as I knew it.

A few years later I'd developed such a severe case of agoraphobia that I could barely get in a car, much less fly or travel, or even go to the movies.

I've been clawing my way back to my "normal" ever since, and you guys have had a front row seat to some of my victories and setbacks.

I don't have either to report today, but I do have this:

    It's a little slice of "normal," you guys. Just me in a theme park line, feeling OK.

I still have a ways to go, still have a lot of battles to lose and doctors to see before I win again. But I'm going to keep looking back, and remembering, and hanging on to all the Happy I have right now, right this second. Because stuff hurts, and I'm scared and stressed too much of the time NOT to.

Also I'm gonna dive face-first into magical Christmas stuff for the next 6 weeks. If that makes you happy, too, then I hope you'll join me.

I love you guys. Be good to yourselves this season, k? 

And stay tuned for more party progress insanity. :D

Source: https://www.epbot.com/2018/11/magical-wizarding-world-pics-little.html

[deadcactuswalking]

The Beauty of “Doin’ Your Mom” by Ray William Johnson

Love him or hate him, Ray William Johnson is a pioneer of new media. He was one of the most famous YouTubers back in the day in what was about the late 2000s and early 2010s, and was really the first dude to make a true, long-term career on the platform, forming a company just to fund his Equals Three show, which, yes, it’s somewhat unwatchable but it’s vintage YouTube so I give most of it an excuse and play it off as dated comedy from someone who was actually old enough to know better, but it was a different time and I’m actually consistently impressed by Ray and how he continues to pop up everywhere as nostalgia for the early days of YouTube starts to seep into this post-ironic era of Internet culture, as people remember the remnants of the more sincere YouTube, with people like Quinton Reviews, TheGamerFromMars and wavywebsurf making informative videos about the classic YouTube and its viral videos that propel someone into stardom for at least about 15 minutes. Now we’re in the age of a company-fuelled platform that treats its community of content creators as the fries on the side of their order of The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. Do I miss the days of “Chocolate Rain” and when any viral hit could make it through the cracks? Of course I do, but it’s not like that can’t happen and memes can’t spread, look at how Lil Nas X has taken advantage of the memes surrounding “Old Town Road” to build his own career – and it was only a matter of time before massive companies learned how to use the Internet. I’d argue Ray is at fault at least in some capacity for making the transition to a talk show highlights website a tad cooler, though, and it’s not like he wasn’t making himself and his show (As well as his animated “Band” which I’m pretty sure is just him) a brand in itself. Ray overall was a fascinating man and still is, and whilst most of his content isn’t looked upon fondly, he does have a few gems in there, like “Orphan Tears” from the Your Favorite Martian days, one I still jam to every now and then, because it’s catchy and whilst incredibly dated now due to the club beat and Bill Cosby references doesn’t feel like it won’t last the test of time like most other YouTube content that has ever been uploaded, especially its music – including the more recent stuff from people like the Paul brothers, but before “It’s Everyday Bro” there was another iconic comedy hip hop track on YouTube that I’d argue is a much more judicious choice for analysis, and it was by Fatty Spins – often stylised as FAttY SPiNS for the sake of confusion – a hip-hop collective fronted by Ray William Johnson and his friends Micfri (The white dude) and Breeze, a singer and according to this song, guitarist? They released about six known songs and have since been lost in the sands of time, at least for all we know. This is my review of the hip-hop classic, “Doin’ Your Mom”.

SONG REVIEW: “Doin’ Your Mom” – FAttY SPiNS (Ray William Johnson)

This song only has 400,000 views on its music video as we speak and it’s on the official channel for the band (The description states Micfri uploaded it) so I’m perplexed, I thought it was much bigger but I suppose it’s either a late reupload or it was never as viral as I assumed. Anyway, let’s dive deep into “Doin’ Your Mom”.

Doin’ your mom, doin’-doin’ your mom, doin’ your mom, doin-doin’ your mom...

I’m not even going to get into the absolutely insane video that screams early YouTube but it’s pretty cute, it’s just a bunch of adults probably too old to be yelling along to the repeated refrain of “Doin’ your mom” but they’re having fun  with it at least, although Micfri makes no effort to actually lip-sync. My favourite shots in the video include of course the iconic intro where they walk on the street with a boombox like they just walked away from an explosion and the acapella version of the hook plays in the background like it was the most grandiose chorus in the history of music, but also honestly any shot where Ray is making a face, like at about 1:20, the shot with the green-screened purple background while the hook’s playing. I know this is intended to be funny (That’s why I didn’t do this for April Fools as I was going to; it felt too contrived) but there are parts in the video that seem so natural and like they thought the song was so much better than it is, and it’s almost more humorous than the song itself. Let’s briefly cover the instrumental while we’re here – it’s nothing all too special but it’s a fitting backing for the epic feel the song has, with the reverb and echo on Ray’s voice as he sprays over an odd yet VERY late-2000s fusion of rock and hip-hop, as there are some GarageBand-sounding guitars and a buzzing synth that help propel the intense strings that almost carry the song, with additional little tweaks like the twinkling synths adding a lot of punch but not making it too cluttered. Honestly, there are some parts of the song that seem like genuinely great musical ideas that may seem kind of wasted on this topic, like the screeching guitar solo or when the beat cuts out in the middle of each verse just to return with the guitar added and an additional synth melody, with both Ray and Micfri’s verses reflecting this change in a shift of their flow. I should probably add that Ray is actually a pretty good rapper for a YouTube personality, and his voice is suited for tracks like this (Yeah, somehow the chorus never gets old despite being repeated ad nauseum). As one of the comments said on the band’s Equals Three Wiki page (Yes, that exists and its comment section is hilariously absurd), he kind of sounds like he could voice Knuckles the Echidna.  That’s enough rambling about how oddly appealing this song is sonically and let’s get straight to the meat and potatoes.

COOL TRANSiTiON

The last line of the hook has always puzzled me.

You know we straight, we doin’ your mom!

“Yes, I had to confirm I am in fact heterosexual by engaging in intercourse with your mother”. I know “Straight” is part of hip-hop slang and refers to people who don’t engage in criminal or dangerous activity like gang violence...

Yeah, we straight but if you wrinkle up the situation, he will go grab the iron – Tyler, the Creator on “OKRA”

..But did we really need reassurance from Ray William Johnson that he and his friend Micfri aren’t shooting people? – Oh, and what does this have to do with doin’ my mom? I shouldn’t worry, the verses go into fascinating detail about how Ray and Micfri met my mother as they trade bars recalling the event.

I’m doin’ your mom, yes, yours! / I first saw her in the Wal-Mart picking out your drawers

Micfri’s first verse is probably the most normal verse here, and doesn’t really have anything I can make all too much fun of other than an awful pun, until it ends because the last line is... well...

Five minutes later, she agreed to get with me / So we went and rocked the minivan like, “Giggity, giggity, giggity”

Micfri goes painfully offbeat just to shove his awkward Family Guy reference in there because I guess it still was 2010 and the show was still relevant, although I’d argue it has more of a place on YouTube now that those funny moments compilations are piling up way more views than they should. That’s all fine, right? Like there’s nothing in this verse that is too interesting, but that dreadful joke transitions pretty hilariously into when Ray comes in...

I was ridin’ your mom like she’s Mario Kart / I gave her a lift back to her crib ‘cause her car wouldn’t start

Yeah, okay, he stretches out some sentences and mumbles a few lines so they barely fit the meter but it works in such a janky manner because the rest of the song is an absolute mess anyway so if anything Ray is just making it work, because, mmm, he just gets it. I love he pronounces words here as well, it’s odd as hell, especially when he accentuates “Car” with a high-pitched and slightly Canadian accent?

How many times I tap that ass? OVER 9000!

Oh, my God, I forgot about this part. This is obviously a reference to the ancient Dragon Ball Z meme where Vegeta says Goku’s power level is at “over 9000” in the 4Kids dub and it was probably funny then, but with the gang vocals and his enthusiastic delivery, it’s even funnier now with nearly a decade of hindsight. There are some jokes that legitimately hold up though, mostly because they’re not incredibly dated and instead rely on Ray’s wit.

Yeah, she called me Pledge ‘cause I knocked the dust off her

Come on, that’s actually pretty clever, I suppose. Ray’s still a comedian after all despite all the memery so he has some clever jabs throughout his verses at least, especially the second verse, which is... even more interesting.

I like your momma’s big butt, and I cannot lie

That’s a cool reference that doesn’t feel forced because it fits in with the song. Nice, we’re seeing some improvement.

We make sexy time, yes? And every night I tap that / She saw me butt-naked, now she thinks I’m half-black

Wh... What? I thought Ray WAS half-black? Is that the joke? I don’t know, I mean seemingly it’s saying how black men are stereotyped to be packing under there but HALF-black? Aren’t you underselling yourself a bit there, Ray? Also, he’s already half-black, or at least mixed. I mean, he’s said the N-word once or twice before on Equals Three so I assumed he had to have some sort of privileges. Is he just that insanely tanned? This is probably the second most questionable punchline in the song, we’ll get to the worst one in a bit.

And I blame it on the al-al-alcohol

Wow, this song really IS dated, huh?

She likes the donkey punch, she likes the dirty Sanchez / Sometimes, she even likes to fool around in YOUR bed

Okay, that is epic, and by that I mean it’s the only bar in this track that feels like it was a good diss directed towards the listener, because most of this song goes into grim detail about the intercourse with said listener’s mother but none of it is as ruthlessly personal as that one.

And I’ll be honest, she likes me to Chris Brown her when she acts like Rihanna

Oh... Oh... That’s, uh, that’s a big yikes from me, Ray, Jesus, okay, well, this was topical in 2010 but I’m still not going to excuse this. I don’t mind using Chris Brown’s domestic assault case as a punchline against him because he deserves all the vitriol he gets, but relating him leaving Rihanna bruised and bleeding after having her phone smashed and being punched and freaking BITTEN to having rough sex with the listener’s mother is insanely insensitive, and how the drum pattern cuts out for Ray to say the last part, especially with the reverb on his voice, makes it even more awkward. You’ll be glad to know, however, that Micfri immediately justifies that horribly problematic bar with easily the best on the track.

She’s so therapeutic when I need to cure my restlessness / I (Brrrrrr) motorboat your mom’s breastesses

I don’t know if it’s the “Brrrr” or the “breastesses” but this line is hilarious to me, and I have mostly no idea why it’s such a good one. Anyway, the verses are finished now, so you expect us to have just a few repeats of the chorus until the song ends, right? But no. We have a bridge, and it’s the gorgeous climax of the song (No pun intended) that honestly may just be the best part, other than the comments on its Wiki page, but we’ll get to that. Breeze croons the bridge in cheap Auto-Tune, and the amount of vocal effects that are added unnecessarily to accentuate the oddly profound lyrics here, that are said only twice but are so essential to why the song has aged much better than it seems to have on the surface.

I’m havin’ sex with your mother and that makes me (Better, better) better than you

There’s something I can’t describe about this bridge and the subsequent guitar solo that makes it work so effectively, and I’m left speechless by it every time. The best part is I’m not joking for the most part, and this song, despite its mind-numbing chorus and incredibly dated and at some times shockingly offensive lyrics, it’s aged incredibly well because it knows it will not be taken seriously and is entirely self-aware, but in a way that doesn’t seep into the song’s content. Most memes these days are TOO self-aware, so when a legitimate, genuine meme comes along that embraces it instead of revelling in it, I’m fully supportive.

You was at the club / Bottoms up when I first met you – The Boyboy Westcoast on “Bottoms Up”

Boyboy embraces the meme and he has a very lighthearted perspective and modest attitude on the song that makes his self-awareness less of an aging factor, and it’s the same for Ray, but some of the memes feel self-aware to a fault when they’re all too loud about the sarcastic manner in which they desperately cling onto a self-awareness that may not actually be there, like when the Backpack Kid did that awfully cringeworthy Verified video on Genius about his flossing song. The heart wasn’t there and it felt plastic and manufactured, but it’s all present in Ray, Micfri and Breeze, as they’re all having fun dancing in the video and while they know they’re really stupid and they look like lunatics, they don’t care... and disregarding the comments of the wiki page in which anonymous users respond to in-depth analysis and rankings of the Mario Kart games with “I will end you”, and no, I’m not kidding, that is the beauty of “Doin’ Your Mom”.

You know we straight, we doin’ your mom

deadcactuswalking

Seriously though check out the wiki page for both the song and the band (They’re linked here). The comments are beautifully absurd.